Sunday, February 16, 2014

Trash # 371 Red Dress

Well last Monday night it was raining women in Roebuck. Well it was actually raining rain as well and you can’t really say hash guys are girls, well actually they were all wearing red dresses and ran in the rain but then so did the girls. One night in a dress and I’m waffling on like a woman. Fanta Pants, Razor Tits and No Name Erina took on the Broome Annual Valentine Dayish Red Dress Chairty Run and did a pretty shit job of it. The 38 people who turned up were bitterly disappointed. After several attempts at a group photo it was off after the live hares who had basically just set a ribbon run to the Zoo Bar. Not sure what the patrons thought as a gaggle of wet bedraggled hashers walked though the restaurant to the bar. I guess it was akin to a fashion parade. There were a few hot bods but then a few total opposites. From the Zee it was back to FP house for a rowdy circle. Would expect no less when there were only women there. Sort of like the reverse of the Monty Python “are there any women here?” skit. Faucet was RA and tried to get some sort of control. The enforcers were in fine form but relatively useless as we were all wet anyway and some bitch with a plastic umbrella was just calling to be shot at. There were a few virgins that Half Tit pulled out of her cupboard and brought along. A few returnees were put on there knees and we had a couple of special people who got to sit down for the whole circle. Young Cock who’s off yet again somewhere and old Crackdiver who finally rolled over 50 (that’s runs, not cars).
As the night was a fundraiser we decided to give the proceeds to the same young boy we gave it to last year. Matt Seraza. He has Cerebral Palsy amongst other things and his parents have no access to the free health System that we do so they are very grateful for any help. Matt’s mum Monette came to hash last year to thank us all which was really lovely and humbling. Anyway I drifted off into reality there for a second to lead in to Hopeless Shag who offered up part of his body to raise extra funds for Matt. While he did have a pretty dress it was his hairy bit that was of value. Lots of people chipped in with money, scissors and a set of clippers to remove his beard and release the inner Mexican. $500 bucks. Good effort. Speaking of good effort the food was shit. Some sort swiss curry and Quickie had her finger in it somewhere and a big flash cake for FPs Birthday during the week and Jelly Shots and Love Heart chocolates and then some idiot brought out a can of spray cream. Why would you do that? Anyway they won’t do it again and apparently some people still smell like cream. Not that I know who’s snffin who these days.
Grand Total raised 1K
Well done guys and girls and guys dressed as girls and guys who tried to look like girls and those that will never look like a girl and here I go again. It’s the dress. I’d better take it off. On On.
Oh and the photos are shit and also we had a reporter there from the paper so maybe her photos will be better?

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