Hare's Tightarse, Hippy Shagger and Razor Tits
My firstborn is missing. I was made to carry it for the whole run. Making sure the unique markings weren't smudged, it's skull cracked or, that it wasn't thrown in the frustration of a circle of palm trees that – annoyingly – had tape on them all.
There were moments when the long grass had hashers leaping through fields like rabbits, dogs disappeared, and the hash apprentice, Slurge, was felled by barbed wire, that I had doubts about taking my egg child out into the trail.
And then at the end of it all, I handed it over to Monkey / Incontinence and it was never seen again.
The run: the ribbons were of no particular colour, arrows were spray painted on the mud and hash markings stopped in lieu of a box that said 'go to Miller Park'. That was where the circle of palm trees with ribbons split the pack. On home along Frederick for most, a trip down Tang Street for the brave.
There was a hash halt with a photo in a drain.
The circle was long. The RA pole-danced. Virgins were aplenty, one drank out of his shoe. He even said it's the best thing he's done in a year. Faucet put his nuts on the candelabra (the Michupinchu stone is still AWOL).
Warwick Slang's Bitch and Yamashita Suckerfish got ice chairs for leaving us for a year. They recollected their fondest hash memories – SuperTurd and WSB's one (known) naked night together, Yama's first run at Westpac and AT's.
Slops got her 50th and celebrated by getting beers for everyone. These are not free hashers, you still need to pay for them.
Quickie got a birthday cake, she's just finished the last of it 3hrs after getting home. In the shower. She can't wait for the next hash birthday.
Dog fight club still isn't licensed, but Matso and Pumpkin are on the fight card. Quickie has the book, give her your money next run. Kosta licked the cheese. The cheese that everyone had in their burgers. He licked it first. There was also a mouse.
We claimed a Derby hasher – Thumb Wank. He said he'd tell us all of Derby's secrets via text.
Can someone keep an eye on Camel Toe, Herpes and Cherry Popper? Down downs before the run next time. Can't trust them to stick around for the circle.
Beep Beep and Saddle Sores survived the Kununurra Adventure Race.
The med students are back again. Rumour is that the hospital orientation includes hash as a social activity.
Dinner was burgers and pizza. 40 odd hashers caused an impromptu pizza order. Insert joke about faster pizza delivery. There was Frangelico and Jagaemeister shots.
The fried eggs in the burgers were a nice touch.