Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Run # 365 Tuesday December 31st

Happy New Year Hashers!!

Just a heads up for something a bit different - there will be a Hash Run on New Years Eve (ie TUESDAY) - so take a deep breath, grab a beer & sit down, for TA has written the details for this one...

(NB For those that can't/don't want to make it or wish to absolve your boozey festive season sins twice, there will also probably be a regular low key Monday run - more details on that one later...)

The New Years Hash (Not a Monday Hash)

Hares: Dr Tightarse TA H3 and Dr Octopussy
Where: The Sunset Airport Resort and Bar and Medical Centre
20 Napier Terrace, Broome
(opposite Magabala Books)
Theme: Doctors, Nurses and their victims, I mean patients.
There will be prizes for the best dressed!!
When: Tues 31st Jan - Sometime around 6pm or when Dr Faucet makes his house call, till sometime next year.
Food: Will rummage through the hospital bin for something tasty, plus of course jelly and some other shit for vegos.
Entertainment: The Karaoke machine (Ok maybe not entertainment but it will make you hope that midnight comes sooner). Unfortunately Dr Tightarse TA RA H3 won't be the RA so there will be hours to kill....
Drinks: Drinks will be included until 8ish or until Dr Bargearse GM H3 calls last drinks. BYO drinks after that.

Medical: Dr Cock in Frock H3 Has volunteered to do free Breast examinations, with any follow up as required
Cost: Only $20. Includes shit run, great nosh, entertainment, drinks during and post run.

The Fine Print: Most of the aforementioned Doctors don't actually have any medical qualifications.
This will be the place to be as there will very long waits in Emergency on New Years Eve.
If you need to be at some other shit place post Hash, there are several showers available to wash off the blood, sweat and down downs.
There is room for swags and tents on site.
There is a post run hydrotherapy facility although we are unsure what color it will be on the night.
The run will have easy options, so what better night to introduce a friend or two to Hash?
There might be, although unlikely that there will be, a recovery run.
It is very unlikely we will really bother with a prize for the best dressed but there maybe something if you don’t bother getting dressed…
If this email/post is swallowed, please seek medical advice


Monday, December 23, 2013

Run # 364 December 23rd

Happy Christmas Hashers!!!
in the wise words of Faucet...
Hares: Faucet and Pokeherhontas
Where: 10 Stewart St
Theme: Well its Xmas so I first thought we could all come as Jesus but that could cause conflict with too many hash personalities. Then I thought Nativity scene characters could be good but then thought we'd struggle to get 3 wise men and a virgin so in the ended deciding no theme, just come in hash gear and think xmasy thoughts
Other stuff: towel, torch, money
Time: Run starts at 6.00pm as I should already be there.
Food: yep and vego stuff if we still have vego people?
OnOn HoHoHo

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Trash # 363

Padam and Pink Bits. Sounds more like an innocent title for a kid’s picture book. Unless you know them then it’s totally opposite. The run started off in Roey with a hint of promise and then deteriorated quickly into another shit run. Not enough checks too much tape and a backwards facing fishhook. There seemed to be more walkers than runners for some reason. It was a short run which is welcome by some in this hot humid weather and then a Hash Holt outside a hanger at the airport and a short on home. That bit was entertaining when one of the girls tried to jump the gate but got stuck on top of it as it swung open (as it was actually unlocked). Back at the Circle, Dirty Bitch volunteered to run the show and proved she could do as shit job as any of the guys. It was young Slurge’s 50th run which is quite a feat but then I suppose he’s from good stock. Cough Cough! The hares took their traditional down down for setting a shit run and then Dirty Bitch dragged out the two virgins which see seemed pretty excited about. One had come with a friend but the other had come alone. Such bravery, or naivety.  There were charges for weekend antics which won’t be repeated in print. You need to be there to hear what goes on. We had one visitor from over east, Frequent Flyer who was at Hash with his mummy and daddy and then before we knew it the Pizzas arrived. Wow Pizza! We hadn’t had that since last week. Maybe were evolving into a Walking Club with a Pizza problem? Never. On On til next week and Xmas.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Run # 363 December 16th

howdy Hashers,

our lovely Padam has sent through sketchy details of what is sure to be an entertaining run

"42 planigale loop for shittest run ever, pink bits and Padam on fkn on"

so a translation for those of you new to the list (are you aware of what you're in for?!
check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hash_House_Harriers)

Hares: Padam & Pink Bits
Where: 42 Planigale Loop, Roebuck Estate
When: Monday 16th Dec, 5:45 for 6pm run
What: $5 to run, $5 for dinner, $3 beers

and so in the gentle words of PADAM...


christmas cheers
Inseminator :)

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Trash # 362

Well if you go on holidays and we know you’re coming back then there’s a good chance someone will dob you in for a run while you’re away. Thanks Quickie. And Crackdiver.  As expected it was a shit run but it was actually a run but no need to elaborate on that ey Quickie. I must say it was a bit of an unusual run as Padam and associates were late as they had to stop and save someone’s life and wait for the ambulance before they could ride on to hash and then when running past the accident scene on the run we had to help lift the patient onto the stretcher and then Faucet was seconded to drive the ambulance to the hospital. We’re just that sort of community group I guess. Apparently there was a halt and a sweaty run back to Doggy and Quickie Park. Tightarse was contracted to do RA duties and did so in a somewhat speedy fashion as the pizza turned up and I assume he was hungry. The hares as per tradition went first and made a competitive effort to down their charge while impeded by the pipe. Tightarse who embraces the use of a butler decided to give the task to both Incontinence and Nutcracker which at first seemed a little improbable but they ended up squeezing into the jacket and being on of the best Butlers we’ve ever had. Obviously everyone has a purpose in life. Backpage got an ice chair for something and then ended up with a slightly excited bearded no name hasher on her knee. He politely held her new shoe for her as she drank her beer from it. There were several charges as well as a few media down downs. Faucet was briefly given an ice chair for his repeated media appearances having briefly overtaken Cracka for media exposure. There was also a naming following Saturday nights hospital party with Poke Her Hootas, actually its Poke Her Hontas but I’ll leave that autocorrect mistake in as it makes the blog seem slightly humorous. Go Poka! And just in case the GM and Poke Her Hontas don’t get enough height comments we made them pose for a photo but no free drink. That was about it really and then we ate Pizza and crapped on and drank more beer and went back home to our normal lives.

Trash # 361

We should really know better but if yet let Slowcum set a run then there’ll be something strange about it. It appeared a normalish sort of shit run except for a short squirt down and back a short street which lead back to a hash halt. It was here Slowcum proudly showed everyone the route on his phone (please note the spelling of route as it is Slowcum’s phone we’re discussing). He’d set the run in the shape of a penis and

balls. Mr Google Maps would have been proud and the Roebuckians disgusted. We assumed it was based on Slowcum’s tackle as it was quite a short run. Back at Circle Central, Faucet was forced to wear the pink gown and pretty hat and try to keep the rather large crowd in control. It was a bit of a special night. Firstly we had to celebrate Cockinafrocks 150th run. One of the few men to get that far. It was also Fanta Pants’s 50th Run. Slow and steady but she finally got there. We were also doing a fund raising run for Perky who was going to shave her head for Breast Cancer Week. Part of the fund raising was Cock allowing people to buy waxing strips to mutilate his body. Ill talk about it later as I’m feeling a little ill thinking about it. We dragged out Slowcum, Slurge and Gurge to show our appreciation of the run. I suppose it could be called a cock of a run. No,no, shit run is fine. Isn’t it pathetic that spell check doesn’t offer an auto correct or option for the word shit. Sorry. We gave Cock and Fantapants the best seats in the house in recognition of their achievments. For some reason the ice stuck to Fantas arse. Slightly weird. We had one vigin who seemed quite lively, a few returnees who had lame excuses, some media charges and generally a random assortment of shit charges. We had a shoe drinker I recall but no photo but we do have one of Slowcum doing a Double Thong. A first for Broome Hash and I’m guessing a first for Hash anywhere really. The big draw card for the night was the dehairing of Cock. Its not the first time he’s done this so I’m a little curious how much he really cares about breasts and how much he derives a certain pleasure of having mainly w

omen ripping waxed strips off his naked body. Whatever does it for you I guess? The one stuck across his nipple seemed a bit dubious but I noticed the strip only had hair on it after the rip. Despite a poorly done wax, red welts and a chainsaw that appeared from somewhere he managed to raise almost three hundred bucks which we added to the run money so we sent off a total of $500 to Perky which was great. Well done
Cock. We should set a run in your honour. Oh, we did. Good. Speaking of good or slightly even gooder, Gurge had put on a huge spread which was scoffed down heartily amid waxing stories. Another shit night.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Run # 362 December 9th

Hare's Crack Diver and Quickie (Not sure she knows about it yet!)
Venue Pelcan Gardens, off Herbert Street
I should imagine there will be some food and probably you will need a torch.
Limited information due to lack of communication ability in the Kimberley.. large distances between us, no phones, or internet sometimes we use telepathy but you all know the go, so see you there usual Broome Time Emoji

Follow Broome H3 on Facebook just ask and we will add you to the group.

On On Barge

Monday, December 2, 2013

Run # 361 December 2nd

Righto Hashers it's time to dig deep in your ever-generous pockets!!!

Tomorrow's run is in honour of our beautiful Perky (who now lives in Cairns, but will always be a Bluewater Hasher!) who is shaving her locks off to raise money for the National Breast Cancer Foundation. The cause is close to our hearts as I'm sure many of you know someone who has been through the fight against breast cancer and particularly a wonderful Broomie (Theresa Bengston) is currently fighting the fight as she goes through radiotherapy in Perth.

the lucious Cock-in-a-Frock has offered his hirsute self up for our pain inducing pleasure, so you can pay to rip hair from his buff body, or for the faint-hearted just put as much as you can into the pot for Perky. She's not far away from raising $5000 so we'd like to have a crack at tipping her over the edge!! (oh hang on, she's a new mum, it's probably already happened!)

So run details...

Hare: Slocum (so help us!!)

Where: 155 Sanderling Drive, Roebuck Est.
What: fundraising Hash Run - $5 run fee will be donated, plus waxing money & whatever else you can afford to chuck in!!

Slocum is being cagey & not offering too many more details, so just do whatever works for you ;)

on on
Inseminator :)

Trash # 360

work in progress

Monday, November 25, 2013

Run # 360 November 25th

Good morning Hashers!!

Good old Half Tit has come up with the goods again, & fingers crossed there's no rain today to wash away her run!! (otherwise could some fast bunny come prepared to be a live hare?!)

Hare: Half Tit

Where: end of Mastapha St, Broome North (aka South Derby!)
(see attached map, or go towards end of Magabala, turn left into Tomarito Cres & right into Mastapha St)

i reckon it's a good idea to bring torches - could be an offroader!!

on on
Inseminator :)

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Trash #359

OMG a blog. Well it rained and I had to go home. And some slight guilt. Very slight.
SO what do I do again? That’s right. I just pick shit out of the run and chuck in a few dodgy photos. Cock in a Frock and Nutcracker did the run and food in that order. Can’t imagine how it would have been the other way round. An attempt at flour humour was made prior to the run but seemed more time counting the mounds of flour would have been more appropriate as we all got lost at the first flour pile. It should have really been one scatter on, two chucks on back and a chuck and two scatters for a check. Anyway despite my pickiness, Cock managed to keep the pack entertained and together and not too muddy. Everyone worked up a good sweat, well actually most people had one before they started. There was only about 20 people due to the fact we have so many world travellers at the moment and a growing number of soft, weak “oh its too humid outside” wussy types. Am I being a bit harsh? Actually hash is like harsh without the r. Totally irrelevant and not even funny but just an observation. So we ran around old Broome and ended up back at Doggie and Quickie Park. Crack had a crack at RA and was pretty shit which fitted in well. He even got to do a virgin and a naming on his first night. There were a few charges with Late Cummer and Chapped Lips who had spent a fortune on a 4 day world holiday needing their head read or at least scanned. If they wanted a hospital holiday they could have done that here for free! Backdoor, backdoored Padam and broke in his new car. Not sure of the details but no one wanted to ask. Faucet got one for not writing the blog. Really. Padam and Backdoor had a birthday. No name whoever got named Prancing Pink Bits and seems to like it. That’s a bit scary.
Nutcracker who made the suggestion hash should say nice things about the run and the food cooked a shit lasagne and shit salad but in abundance. The full moon was rising and a cool breeze kicked in and it was somewhat pleasant.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Run # 359 November 18th

When: Monday 18th Nov at 6.00pm
Hares: NutCracker & Cockinafrock
Where: from the park on corner of Pelcan Gardens & Herbert St

no other instructions at this stage - but go torchless at your peril!!

on on
Inseminator :)

Monday, November 11, 2013

Run # 358 November 11th

Hello Fellow Deviants!
It's a Dirty Double Up this week with Dirty Sanchez and Dirty Bitch running the show so naturally, being the sick and twisted individuals that we are, we've planned a dirty, filthy adults only run! (children welcome)
Where: 15B Hay Rd
When: 17:45 for 18:00
Nosh: yep
Bring: ya togs and a torch essential
Nudity: 100% accepted, possibly rewarded depending on who you are.
Hope to see all yo fine arses there! On On!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Run # 357 November 4th

Happy Melbourne Cup week Hashers!!

forget the last email suggesting a venue for tomorrow's hash - it's changed. (DownDown to TA for coming up with a great idea but not following through with it...)

Hares: TightArse, Aids (+/- Nutcracker??)
Where: Visitors' Centre

When: Usual

What: your finest Melbourne Cup frockery, or anything else you think might fit the theme...
This is also Camel Toe's last run, so come along to join in the warm fuzzy farewell song ;)

On on

Run # 356 October 28th

Get ready for the BIG Halloween Hash Bash

Where: 8 Clementson Street (Sales Yard Broome Isuzu Ute (Broome Motors)

What to bring: The spookier the better as it's going to be freaky, spooky and don't be surprised if you find carcasses along the run ;-). Get your best Halloween outfit out & torches are an absolute must!!!

Nosh: Fingers, Eyeballs, Feet, Noses, Teeth and Ears and bloody mary for the vego's! Something for every hasher!

5.45pm to take off 6pm (don't wait for faucet he’s in Bali!)

More spooky inspiration can be found on this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA

Monday, October 21, 2013

Run # 355 October 21st

Hare: BackPage
Date: Mon 21/10/13
Location: Moonlight Bay Residential Car Park Carnarvon St (on the sweeping bend between Mangrove Hotel and Moonlight Bay Suites)
Time: 5:45pm for 6pm start or whenever Faucet arrives
Nosh: Yes, it will be tasty and vego will be available
Torch: Yes - for some reason WA ignores daylight savings - why....who knows......???
Moon: Full - the last staircase for the year and the location provides good private viewing at 8pm if the clouds bugger off
Swimmers: Yes - I have a pool
Important: BargeAss's 200th run!

See you there.....

(NB limited parking so ride yer pushy or park around the library & walk up the hill)

On on Inseminator :)

Monday, October 14, 2013

Run # 354 October 14th

Where: lil park corner Nishiji and Bargas in Broome North (out back blue haze/ gubinge servo way)
When: usual time
Nosh: won't let yas starve
BYO: torches and virgins

On on until then,
Half Tit, Pussin D, Faucet

Monday, October 7, 2013

Run # 353 October 7th

Hey Ho Hashers!!

Run #353 Monday 7th Oct

Hares: Razor Tits, Slops & Incontinence
Where: Old Paspaley Shed (cnr Chapple & Grey Sts) (downdown to Incontinence for misdirections!)
When: if you don't know by now....

What: a hot sweaty buildup run - Slops mentioned something about zombies, but maybe that's on her upcoming trip??!

On on

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Run # 350 SUNDAY September 29th

No run on MondaySept 30 due to it being replaced on this rare ocassion by the 350th run on Sunday

Monday, September 23, 2013

Run # 352 September 23rd

Hola Hashers!!!

this week is Mexican Theme, so get your sombreros & panchos & nachos & muchos out & join us for a Corona or two (or five if you're TA!!)

Hares: Cumma Sutra & NN Bonnie
Where: Cygnet Park, Roey Estate

When: usual usual

On on
Inseminator :)

Monday, September 16, 2013

Run # 351 September 16th

Howdy Hashers,

it's that Shinju Matsuri time of year, which means we drag out returnees and virgins to make it a huge run to celebrate the festival of the Pearl. Derby Hash will be there in fully fine form, and there will be plenty of beverages... (that sounds like a cause & effect, but perhaps of the chicken & egg sort?!!)

What: Broome Hash #351 Shinju Run
Hares: Barge, Faucet & Camel Toe
When: Monday 16th Sept
Where: Bedford Park (between Anne/Weld/Hammersley Sts)
Costs: $5 for run, $5 for dinner, beers $3, soft drinks $1

What else: nothing, just be there. bring torches if you like, or don't - whatever. Bring unsuspecting virgins too.

NB Those particularly bright ones out there might have noticed that we've jumped from run #349 to #351. Ok it's happened before & been a typo, but this time it's because we're messing with time & holding off on our 350th run until the Long Weekend. Keep Sunday 29th Sept free for an afternoon (& evening!) of celebrating just because we can.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Hash Trash #345

[insert horse noise here] Welcome to the Broome Hash House Harriers Cup where a bunch of dodgy runners invades the Broome racecourse under the cover of darkness to run a bouquet relay team event in race attire. The race was of course won by the slutty harlet Beep Beep in a time that would have beaten the half of the horses the next day. Others ran walked and cheated. Hippy shagger was caught out cheating badly while Saddlesores and Faucet carried out the same manoeuvre with much more panache, only to be dobbed in by the walkers who by chance were walking around the track in the wrong direction.  To add an air of authenticity to the meet, Tightarse was offering hormones and dubious urine samples which was quite amusing considering he follows the Swans and not the Bombers. Bargey had the whip out, in some premonition of what was to come at the AGPU the following week. There were two new namings with Karma Sutra and Aids finally being christened by R.A.Slowcummer. And the food was, umm it will come to me in a moment, yes it was umm its coming yes it was Pizza. Shit Run. [insert horse shitting noise here]

The Trash # 344

 Some runs are memorable for just one thing; in fact, some are even famous for just one thing. Crackdiver, Quickie and Octo, sorry but your run will only ever be remembered for this.

Hash Trash #343

Sometimes artistic is mixed with autistic such as the case of the Streeters photo. All literature has to open with a sentence of sorts and in this case this is it. It may have been a while ago but I remember this run like it just happened the other two months ago. Scrotum Tennis, Octopussy and Superturd. Courthouse Carpark. Remember now? No of course you don’t because hardly anyone turned up you bunch of last f-ing slackarsers. It was actually a good run an despite being cold there was a nice fire in the carpark to stand around and Scrotum Tennis hadn’t stood around scratching her balls, she cooked up a huge feast of really yummy food which we all gorged on and then had leftovers to take home. It was Cockups last run or so he said. The love of the Kimberley or the love of a woman will see him back here one day. I remember there was a big circle drawn on the ground but not enough to fill it. The pic shows the talents of Turd and Scrotes as they drink with skill from the pipe. I’m sure Octo has other talents. Slowcum was RA and the guy from Darwin who random appears did so again. Padam drank from his shoe.