Sunday, November 11, 2012

Trash # 305



Well don’t the doctors know how to pull the ladies on Melbourne Cup Eve? They really dragged in the honeys for what was an epic example of equinien excrement. And a few of the boys prettied up too. Not sure where to put lycra boy. For the cheering crowds spread across old Broome and Demco it must have looked like a bunch of hashers chasing guys in suits who were chasing extra tall thai lady boys. God knows what the patrons of Matsos thought as several of the front runners gigged their best horse impressions around in a circle outside the front gate.  Think I also noticed a few whips, ties and fascinators along the way. The on’s were creative with little horsey type arrows and stalls for checks. Horseshoey things for fishhooks. There was an innovative childish game at town beach where people were volunteered, chosen or forced onto dodgy looking sleds to be dragged round on the grass by the said weirdly dressed people. Despite the entertaining aspect of the event it did have one tragedy with the esky being discovered to be lacking in beer and punters forced to drink cider or even soft drinks and water. Virgin hares usually get one chance! The post race party was run by Butterbitch who moved things along quickly. The hares went first with Arsediver wearing the seat and Roofie showing everyone how to drink while wearing the pipe. Tightarse got a charge for boatsinking, I think there were a couple of returnees, a couple of virgins who creatively danced with the pretty girls but the big one for the night was two of the more beautiful girls, (even more beautiful than Tightarse and Superturd) who reached significant milestones in their hash lives. Sort of sad really. Crackafat finally, after all these years made it to fifty runs. And last but not least, Yamashitta Suckerfish made it too one hundred runs. I’m sure she doesn’t even know how she made it that far. It amazing what some people will do to get their name on the Hash Esky. They got off pretty lightly with just ice chairs for a short stint and that was about it. Food was chicken burrito wraps which seemed quite edible. Poor Barge ended the night sadly and probably had nightmares after her inquisitive nature left her with getting more than she bargained for.

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