Sunday, November 18, 2012

Trash # 306

 Canetoad and Booboo. That sounds silly. One day Canetoad and Booboo decided to set a run for their friends. They came from far and wide; some came from as far away as Cable Beach and the Heavy Industrial Area. When they arrived at Canetoad and Booboo’s house they found they had drawn pretty pictures on the stepping stones with chalk and then told everyone a story about the mysterious lines. Booboo made a funny joke about some of the lines looking like testicles but only the naughty people laughed. He told everyone how he and Canetoad had drawn them all over town and how we had to run and find them. It was really exciting. Everyone was bursting to go but Booboo hadn’t quite finished. He nearly forgot to tell everyone about the flour and the blue tape. That was a booboo.  So, just as the sun was just about to set in half an hour or 35 minutes, everyone ran off. Some people were really fast. They have really long legs and short penises so they can get to the checks really quickly but this time there was a little surprise. Silly Canetoad and Booboo had drawn the checks on the road and those big motor car tyres had rubbed them out. Luckily, as fate would have it, some of the clever hashers were able to find the trail and they called to their friends “On On” and they all made to the Hash Holt. Well, not everyone made it to the Hash Holt, Booboo forgot to go there. We all know what that means when the hare doesn’t turn up at the Hash Holt don’t we! This is the sad part of the story so if you get upset easy then cover your eyes for the next few lines. Okay, do it now! There was NO BEER at the Hash Holt. Every one was sad and confused and wandered around in circles until wise old Cockup suggested we could all sing a song and that would make everyone feel better. Everyone gathered under the ‘Yammashiita Suckerfish Stolen Bike Memorial Pavilion” on the foreshore of Demco Estate and sung three versus of “My Garden Shed”. Well not only did that make everybody happy again but it also made the beer arrive. It is a very magic song.

The sun was now saying good night and the little stars began to flicker and everyone turned on their torches which they bring with them every week so they could run along the dangerous rocks up towards Town Beach. Everyone made it safely back to the streets of Old Broome where they followed the magical path all the way back to Canetoad and Booboo’s house. This is a long story isn’t it? Maybe you need a rest or should be working and need to finish it later unless you are too excited to know what happened next. You are excited aren’t you? So back at the house King Cockinafrock gathered everyone in to a circle, well not a real circle more of misshapen ellipses. They’re big words aren’t they?  It just means that the coordinates of the shape form the basis for several sets of three-dimensional orthogonal coordinates. The elliptic cylindrical coordinates are produced by projecting in the z-direction and prolate spheroidal coordinates are produced by rotating the elliptic coordinates about the x-axis, i.e., the axis connecting the foci, whereas the oblate spheroidal coordinates are produced by rotating the elliptic coordinates about the y-axis, i.e., the axis separating the foci. That’s probably not that important to remember so we’ll just call it a circle. We all know that one. Everybody loves the circle as we sing songs to our friends and use words that our mummies and daddies don’t think we ever use. Booboo and Canetoad went first and we sang about how they tried to go to heaven but went the other way. That reminds me of the new story I was reading today about the Royal Commission in the Church and Paedophilia but we’ll keep that one for when you get older. The next song was for Quickie and Uranus because they had been on a holiday from Hash. We probably sang them the wanker song which is really silly as Quickie doesn’t have a penis even though she is a fast runner. We also had a virgin runner and 3 other virgins who didn’t run. We don’t ask too many questions at hash. They danced around the Inca Stone which is also a story we could talk about one day if the circle is too boring. Next they bought out Faucet because he grew a pretty moustache which made him look like a handsome porn star and also Yamma and Cameltoe and Roofie with his boobies showing and another man who all did something silly during the week. Everyone sung the pies chips and gravy song for them. That’s the song where you get to say the naughty word twice. I don’t know about you but I’m getting sleepy now. There were songs for Superturd and Cockup and Perky and Butterbitch. If you break his name in half then the second bit is a swear word. The circle story is almost over except for Barge who not only had a down down but was also severely enforced with the hose and Dirty Sanchez got a big box of black party balloons from Derby Hash. That would probably make a great story! I almost forgot that King Cockinafrock gave a hasher a name as he has not had one for so long and he was getting sad. He is now called Porker because of what he likes to do on weekends. After the circle there was yummy food and everyone talked and laughed and drank beer and went home except of course for Booboo and Canetoad because they were already there!

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