The much anticipated 300th Run looked more like a breakout of 40 patients from the mental health unit as we bolted down Walcott, past the hospital on a convoluted path to the Roey. With the combination of Warrick Slangs Bitch and Faucet setting the run it was going to be a long run with a couple of good on backs and a classic “fuck up the short cutting bastards” at Town Beach. The walkers managed to get to the pub first and had the jugs ready. But from there it was on to the Satay Hut where they slowed slightly and some of the runners got there first or maybe Cock in a Wheelchair. Another 10 jugs then a quick bolt back to Bedford Park for the 300th Circle. Superturd was the pre circle entertainment as he had a big hurl onto an unsuspecting palm. The grand final, doggies party and the big run were all a bit too much for the little fella. The Cock ran the circle from his wheelchair which looked remarkably like a throne. He had a couple of maidens at hand passing out the down downs. The hares went first as is the tradition and WSB did a good job with the pipe. I think it was probably Superturd next for his tree fertilisation performance. He ended up on ice again while another regular got an ice chair but I’m sure it was her first despite her having done 50 runs. Stationary Crab, who unlike her namesake walks straight and often, has managed to earn herself a beautifully engraved mug which she downed partially internally and the rest externally. Another memorable one was young Doggie who’s off to sniff asses in other parts of Australia. We sang him the special farewll song and let him sit on Superturd’s knee for a while just to make sure he was happy to leave. We also had a few special returnees role up with old Kama putting in an appearance. There was also Brazilian Coathanger, Slowlane, and a couple of others I can’t recall not due to their importance only my memory skills. We had 4 shoe drinkers, bit of a record really Think it was Cockup, Slops, Sanchez and another girl. Please feel free to add her name via the comment button. There were various charges, only one virgin who was brought along by a girl who used to be a virgin, probably twice. She danced well. Again the comment button. And while going on and on about the comment button could someone add the names of the people who were named. We had 4 I think, Herpes was one and there were others so please add them for me. Mr and Mrs Budda Belly, Tinny Arse and Guzzle Guts downed a beer although the latter has been downing quite a few anyway. What else? Inseminator was up there for something as were Yama and Tightarse and just about most people really. The Circle had to end as we had to head home for a clean up before heading to Matsos for the 300th dinner and drinks. It was very civilised, unlike I imagine the Derby 600th will be. Lots of nice smelling people acting with decorum. That’s a weird word. The food was good and plentiful and the beers abundant. Kama told us a bit about how Broome hash started and we rounded up for a group photo. Even the Curry man wanted in on the photo. There was an after party at Tightarses but I’m yet to hear the goss from that and probably don’t want to.
All in all a shit evening really. Who could ask for more.