Saturday, September 29, 2012

The Trash #299

It took Tightarse to work out how to wrap up shit in pretty (red and white) paper and make it look good. Just needed that splash of colour to draw a crowd. From memory he was the only one in red and white but then again there wasn’t much opposition from the gold and tan, cept for a couple of Tassie hashers who paid us a visit. In a hash first we had to follow little red swan flags, sprayed onto the footpaths. The on backs were hawk coloured but I never got to see any of those except the demo model and the checks were Tightarse circles. Just put your little check inside someone elses old check and you suddenly have new check. You have to know about hash to make any sense of that last sentence. Following the flags was pretty simple except for Quickie and most of us made it to the High School oval where we had a hash halt and a goal kicking ego thing under lights. Lots of testosterone being tossed around. Even Cameltoe was trying to kick a goal. Bit of a slog home with a beer on board and managed to run over the creative swan “On Home” along the way. The circle was actually a circle for a change and surrounded by red and white circle things left over from another event. Tightarse copped shit about his run, the GM hurt his foot on a boab nut and got a down down for that. He also shared a down down with Superturd for something that shouldn’t be talked about outside of hash. The picture probably says enough. Faucet was RA as the other ones are away or broken. There were no virgins for the first time in ages, although one did land in the back yard a little later, a few returnees, a no name birthday and a lame joke. Yep, that about covers it. The food was typical aussie rules tucker with fucking hot pies, exploded savs in white bread rolls, sauce and some extra salty chicken treat chips. Almost time to go and watch the GF and see if the red and whites do get up. ON ON

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Run #300 September 30th

Broome HHH run #300

When: Sunday 30th Sept (long w/e!)
4:15pm for 4:30 start.
Where: Bedford Park (between Matso's and Mercure).
Food: For this special event we have opted for something a little different... food will not necessarily be shit on this night!
$25 per person includes proper dinner, loads of beers and a few other bits and pieces - one price for all.
Torches not necessary due to early run (and you wouldnt use it anyway!)
U will have time to wash away your stench prior to 7pm dinner

"U will have to wash away your stench prior to 7pm dinner" hahaha

ON ON!!!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Run # 299 September 24th

Footy Hash Dash (Hash 299)
Cheer, cheer the red and the white,
Honour the name by day and by night,
Lift that noble banner high,
Shake down the thunder from the sky
Whether the odds be great or small,
Swans will go in and win overall
While her loyal sons are marching
Onwards to victory!

Come dressed in your favourite footy attire, Aussie Rules, Rugby Union, League, Soccer, it's all good. Probably no points for just wearing your touch shirt though.

Hare: Tightarse

Sunset Airport View Resort & Bar
20 Naiper Terrace
The house on the end of the runway, opposite Magabala Books.
(Cnr Napier and Bagot)

Dinner: Vego option

I won't bother saying bring a torch cause it seems it's ignored every week.

The Trash 298

Westpac and Anal Tool. Now they’ve set a few runs. All shit of course so it was just another one of them. I must say though, it was a Roey estate run and we did stay in Roey estate and ran down almost every street without going through the primary school. Remember the days when we used to run through Roebuck Primary every week. It’s lucky they didn’t lock us up. Cock in a Frock delivered the new hash shirts, although not personally because he is a slack bastard and had same lame excuse. That’s actually funny. Lame. No it’s not really. Cock we do feel sorry for you and hope your leg get better soon. The new shirts were great with lots of purchases and we all looked such a nice, large, well dressed bunch of dickheads running around shouting on on. Speaking of pretty, I found this beautifully decorated pothole rather characteristically unroebuckian I thought. Hash sometimes delivers such treasures. It’s early morning and I’m not drinking, just off with the fairies. Nothing fairyish about the  circle as it was held just outside the blokey shed alongside the fish cleaning table and ran by AT. Not sure why he set the run and was the RA. Can’t remember which girl took the photos this week but they actually did a good job. Everyone just blames the camera for the shit shots but hey these are good. Look at the clarity of the photo of our fuckwit GM for instance. And those pretty girls drinking out of their shoes and everyone else down downing so nicely, except Stork who is trying to balance a stubbie on his thumbs? And the last little dribbles of the can as that un-named girl is named and exposes my worsening Alzheimers. And Slops entertaining everyone with her down syndrome impersonation. And the person holding the cut-out Crackdiver face over his own face. Such nice memories of a lovely evening. And there was food. More hamburgers than McDonalds sells in a week with those little German extras like beetroot and pineapple. Enough On On

Monday, September 17, 2012

Run #298 September 18th

Hare's ATM & Westpac (not sure that they know about it yet-AT?)
@ 14 Goshawk Lp, Roebuck
Usual shit n stuff
You know the drill!

On on Barge (in the absence of Inseminator who is Globe Trotting)

The Trash # 297

 Todays lesson on how not to set a run. Use virgin hares like Love you/me long time and Crack Diver. Set them up in the park in Roey Estate where they instantly leave and go to Broome North. Let them make up their own marking system where they have this weird “do not enter symbol” as a check (come on guys, didn’t you watch playschool, a plain circle isn’t that hard). A flour check is just a dob of flour not a whole fucking sack. The photos say it all. Now despite the crap run they did manage to pull a big crowd. Anal Tool came out of semi retirement or whatever else it is that he has been up to lately (besides keeping Westpac barefoot and pregnant) and was RA for the evening. We had a few returnees, Super Turd and Quickie had a shoe drink to break in their new shoes, there was a couple of vigins who danced around the ancient Machu Pichuen candelabra. I‘m so glad I started hash back in the days when as a virgin you just had to stand out the front down a beer and then eventually get a semi decent name like Warrick Slangs Bitch or Faucet. But in saying that, on Monday night we had a girl wanting to be called Headjob. I may have misheard that as I had to rush over and pay for the pizza’s and it was all over by the time I got back. Irony. We actually had 2 namings and I don’t remember what they were. Not because of their importance as I realise they names are very important and will be with them for the rest of their hash life, however short/long that may be but because it’s now Monday and I don’t retain information that long anymore. So some kind person please hit the comment button and put their names in for me. Thankyou in advance for you valued contribution. And while you are at it what was Doggie doing on an ice seat? I’m sure I’m losing it. And who took the photos? Okay I have lost it. Crack Diver with Pizzas. Bye. I have to go now. Somewhere. On on

Monday, September 10, 2012

Run #297 10th September

Hares: Crack Diver & Love Me/You Long Time

Where: Starting point will be: Cygnet Park
Cnr of Corella rd & Sanderling Drive
Roey Estate

When: Monday 10th

I'm guessing there'll be food (Hares have kept that a secret!!)

Saturday, September 8, 2012

The Trash #296 and Dragon Boats

The Not-Shinju run
Hares: Live hare from Warwick Slang’s Bitch and Yamashita Suckerfish
Derby mob rocked up for the unoffical not-shinju run. They rocked up fashionabley late (and well drunk), chauffered in by their faithful bus driver who has now for the 3rd time in as many trips swore he will never do it again!
As part of the Shinju festival and knowing we had some visiting hashers, Yama and WSB wanted to show some of the usually unseen highlights of Broome town. The run included such highlights as a local Broome experience behind Coles were a few people were asked to “come back and take your pants off” while running past a mob loaded with red can. While setting the run, WSB almost got too personal with one local. The drunken lad was going about his stumbling stroll along the street when WSB made the mistake of drawing and On On within 2m of the position he thought was the best to have a good old bile spew to clear room for another red can.
The hares had to think on their toes while trouncing through the unofficial back alley pathways behind the High School. Their planned escape route through the not-so-secret fence was foiled by recent Shire activity! How often does the Shire actually do anything? It must have taken 4 days, 36 iced coffees and a lot of man-hours and shovel leaning to get those 6 panels of corrugated iron into place.
Hares got home in the nick of time with Butterbitch hot on their tale. All this extra training and marathon running has messed with his head.
On the other hand, the Derby mob were in no rush to return to the circle. They found a comfortable seat at the Roey where we are sure they fit in quite well with some of Broome’s finest.

Yama and WSB were informed the run was exceptionally good for a Hash run. Maybe the best this year?
We had a handful of visitors join us tonight for this inaugral and infamously shit run. Devonport and Gold Coast were represented, but slightly outnumbered (and out-vocalised) by the Derby mob and their singing/nudeity antics.
Media – all those involved in the Hash article in the advertiser down-downed (Faucet, Butterbitch, Dirty Sanchez, WSB). Fanta Pants did her part to promote HHH on local radio and down downed for her efforts. No Name Emma had her photo plastered across the Broome Hospital internal newsletter.
All the Hash betrayers down downed for participating in the dragon boat races for a team besides Broome HHH. And to their detriment really. We dominated! Only reason we didn’t take the main prize is due to the cheating organisers. On points countback though, we are certain we can hold our heads high as we out scored all the opposition in the preliminary rounds.
AT had a free beer for informing a mother that HHH wasn’t interested in her 16 year old son as a member “but how old is your daughter?”
We only had a few virgins but I’m sure they’ll be back. Or not!
Derby were a little peeved tht there was no Hash halt on this run, so their GM , Muffintop, used her high and mighty powers and charged WSB for this misdemeanour, along with visiting hasher JC (Gold Coast HHH) for his assurance to her “of course there will be a halt, its Hash”.
Derby took to the ice quicker than Urinal did after 3 months on a boat full of men, and they did it in true Derby style. Unfortunately for Yama, she was on the opposite side of the circle and glimpsed Dags in all his post-run glory. Maybe he should have one of those alarm things like the luggage carosel at the airport. In fact the town should be warned when they approach. The people at the Mecure got a free balcony concert until the bus turned up at nine. I was wondering if it would be the bus or the cops tiurning up first as the songs got louder and bawdier as the night went on. Bit of a warm up for the Gibb.
Faucet and AT cooked up the most amazing sasuages I’ve ever eaten. I40 of them actually. Luckily Superturd had done a reno on the Barbie during the week and it enabled them to be cooked all the way through for a change. No-one likes a raw sasuage down their gob. We’ll, umm I’ll leave that there and get this posted.
The Real Winners 2012!

Thanks to Westpac and Stationary Crab and whoever else for the pics

Monday, September 3, 2012

Run #296 September 3rd

Hi y'all - check this out...
derby mob are bussing over to join us,so let's make them welcome!!

> Broome HHH not-shinju run
> Bring a new virgin.
> Hares: ??
> Place: Bedford Park (between Matsos/Mercure)
> Time: 545 for 6pm start
> Torches n all the usual rubbish
> On On
Inseminator :)