Hares: Doggy Style & No Name Kim
The BushBasher run… more like a bloody dog walking service. There were dogs everywhere tonight and at one point we had more dogs than people. Speaking of a bad start to the night, it almost ended before it started for one poor hasher as a scary looking neighbour wasn’t too impressed that a vehicle was blocking access to his precious boat parking area. Rule number 5.
The Run: Bush bashing was promised and bush bashing was delivered. Over 8km of shit run, including a shitload of bush and some dirt. After zig-zagging through old Broome we took to the Demco beach sand dunes where Muscle Puller made his own track– that’s how shit this run was. There was some other bush near the water treatment area (but just far enough away luckily). There we stumbled across a woman wanting a taxi. Unfortunately she learnt the hard way that “there are no phones on a hash run” – hopefully she was able to sort out a taxi somehow, her red cans were getting warm out there. Unfortunately for Yamashita Suckerfish, there was still no sign of her bike. Maybe next time? The run took us through some more bush (imagine that) between Clementson and Dixon where we had some great support from a local mob, “run my brothers, run”. It must have inspired a few of the virgins, because they got out of there pretty quickly. Somewhere along the way a virgin went arse over tit – could be a name in that? Barge was always ahead of the pack somehow, surprising given that she walked the whole way (shortcutting cheat). Bubbles and Rice Bubbles made an appearance, with about 500m to go. Better late than never I guess.
Circle up: Another big crowd tonight with over 30 hashers present again. Would have been 1 more if Speck didn’t disappear before the circle (down down!). We had 5 virgins to sacrifice around the ancient relic tonight. One of the virgins was associated with Stinky Pong. We remember him putting on an amazing dance display for his virgin dance (to Quickie’s delight), so we thought we’d let him show the newbies how to entertain. We had a visiting hasher from Newcastle (Australia – boring). He shared a verse of his local HHH theme song with us. A theme song, what a great idea. Maybe we should have one of those. Cock Up showed up again (and down downed). He’s the only one who can tune the damn bugle. While we had him we made sure not to miss out on a rendition of “Swing Low”. He described the run as “8km of life I’ll never get back”. It’s also 8km that he could probably do with, poor old bastard. Speaking of Cock Up, he gave us the beginnings of naming tonight. No Name Jeff (another one of those Medical students) was the poor virgin went arse over tit tonight. He also plays guitar at Diver’s. Arse Diver was born. First virgin run naming in a while. Have the others ever come back? I watched a show on SBS recently about attention and how difficult it is to really multi-task. What was that? Fanta Pants attempted to charge some hashers for some things, but in her excitement she must have converted to her mother tongue as no one could understand a bloody thing she was saying. Anybody’s guess really. In the end she had a down down. After weeks and months and some days, Urinal finally made it back to the Bluewater hash. And for that, he got the ice chair. He was quite happy with that in fact, after the weeks and months and days he had spent on a boat full of men. Just saying. I’m sure he said something about potatoes and whinged about the Australian government. In the end we sang him the “fuck off” anthem as he is returning home to the land of the leprechaun. Slops enjoyed a belated birthday down down with a No Name. Speaking of theme song’s Warwick Slang’s Bitch had a crack tonight (channelling Rainman?). He struggled to remember the words to his own song, but got there eventually with some sweet humming from the circle. The crowd went wild. Then they said it was too tame as there weren’t enough fuck’s and shit’s. Urinal fixed that problem with a foreskin song. Did I mention I watched some comedy gig on TV last night and there was a skit about how funny it is when old people say random things?
Next week’s run: # 296. Shinju. Come one, come all. Bring along a virgin hasher… the more dancing and humiliation, the better!
Dragon Boat races this Saturday! HHH first race at 9am. Get to Town beach at 8am(ish). Faucet will keep you posted.