Anzac Day. Lest we forget. The camera. No problem we didn’t need one. The hare was Quickie, we all know what she looks like by now. She was helped by Sarah who doesn’t have a name or a photo (and has done 8 runs!!!!). It was dark so no-one could see where we were going anyway which is probably the reason we ran in clever circles around almost every single street in Roebuck Estate. So again no photo needed. Spec had an aircraft landing light on his head which made him a little top heavy but stopped him getting lost at high speed which again wouldn’t be photographable. Deep throat was sick and so probably didn’t want to be snapped, Slang gets enough photos anyway so she was out. Don’t think Love u long time was wearing a hash shirt so he doesn’t deserve a photo. Conchie and Faucet are too old for photos and splinter to young. Happi, Vagrant and Gash were all just sitting around after a big walk and therefore not worthy. Cock in a Frock was the RA and may have deserved a snap but life can be hard sometimes so he missed out. The virgin girl was pretty scrawny and although her virgin dance was well choreographed the photo would have just looked like a stick insect on a rock. Muscle Puller is too quiet and the two other almost virgins are still to shy to have a blog photo yet so I guess that justifies not needing the camera. The food was hearty pasta in two flavours which was good and bountiful but unphotographable due to copyright issues. Thanks Quickie.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wheres: 110 Sanderling (The corner of Sanderling & Bowerbird or look for the orange blob)
Torches are an idea
There will be Food & Drink
5.45pm for a 6.00 pm OFF
STOP PRESS STOP PRESS
CIAF will be holding a Leg Waxing for Charity - All you closet S & M aficionados get on down and support a worthy cause whilst tearing hair off CIAF's Legs!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Every monday night in my dreams
I see you, I follow you
That is how I know you go on on.
Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on on.
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on on
Once more, you opened the door
And you're here in my circle,
And my heart will go on and on.
Hash can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're down down.
Love was when I loved you,
One true time to hold on to
In my life we'll always go on on.
You're here, there's nothing I fear
And I know that my heart will go on on.
We'll stay, forever this way
You are safe in my circle
And my hashing will go on and on.
So how many yogi singing hashers can you fit into a Landcruiser? Six hundred dollars and 4 demerit points worth. Who’s idea was the pub run anyway? Slowlane and Blondie and somewhere in the background Red. Things started off well with a everyone having to earn their first beer at the Satay Hut by running around in circles and climbing over a fence. Quickie seemed to be the only casualty with a shin cut and shorts rip. The 30 of us rushed in and then rushed back out of the Satay Hut and headed for Matsos via the moonlight mud of Roebuck Bay. Not sure what the empty esky was about but I’m sure that during the beer drinking, planning stage it seemed a great idea. So what do you need halfway through a run. Some wholesome Matsos beer and conference food. But then a bus, yes Faucet, a bus, which is a vehicle designed to carry large numbers of people safely and legally whisked us away to Cable Beach where we started all over again. The first section was rather short and found us filling the bar at Zanders. Sort of dining entertainment for the tourists. We do make an unruly spectacle when we turn up in numbers in our flashy singlets. More beer, another song and off to aimlessly wander the streets back to Divers. More beer and the circle. The hares had the first one for a shit run and deservedly so. We had a couple of virgins that danced around the Inca chair. Red had to drink a collection of dregs collected along the way by Jackoff of which he ended up pouring most of onto his head. Celine did the titanic thing again but it just didn’t seem right without Urinal who seems to be the only one who knows the words. Love u long time and that girl in the photo got charged for something. She should be charged with dribbling but then she obviously finished first so doesn’t deserve condemnation (click on the photos for enlargement). Pusha came along without her kids and behaved herself and so should get a down down for that next week. And then we learned a new song. “I know a bear that you don’t know, Yogi” What a stupid fucking song and what’s worse is I find myself singing it, even now. It was one of the virgin hashers that introduced it and did so with style so he ended up getting christened Yogi and his mate with the fashionable Islamic beard got christened Boo Boo. Yogi and Boo Boo it is. There wasn’t really any food to critique at Divers, just more beer, which was beer, except for Faucet who was drinking Hahn Light which was fortunate for him as it turned out. The dregs of the hash crew piled into Faucets cruiser and headed home. Unfortunately in the quiet dark streets around Yammashittasuckerfish’s house in the LIA the cops pulled us over and we paid the price. But hey it’s a good bonding story and might stop Cockup telling us we’re a softcock hash for a while. As a follow up I ended up having to work with the same cops on ambulance duty next night and when they realised who I was they avoided me like the plague. And thanks to my fellow partners in crime for the fine contribtions and please stop feeling guilty. I’m a big boy and I am ultimately responsible or irresponsible as the case may be. On On.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
I mentioned to Red awhile ago the ol Derby H3 is planning a weekend camping away trip hash run next month 14th – 15th of May at a secret location near Langi’s Crossing. It’s probably 180km from Broome not far off the bitumen near the mighty Fitzroy River. Woolf and I are doing a recce run in a couple of weeks to see if it’s dry enough but if you want to get the Broome H3 troops fired up that’s what were up to. She’ll be bush camping by some billabongs with a shit load of shiggy to traverse.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Well Storks run was obviously shit as everyone is still talking about it. I mean it would have to be shit because he was so slow it took him two days to set it and it went everywhere and people kept having to bunch up to find the right trail and everyone kept yelling on on as there were so many fucking arrows and on backs. And then back at the finish, what a hovel. We had to sit outside on long skinny bits of wood. The whole forty of us. No wonder they made him wear the shit run seat and the hash pipe and the gimp mask. He earned it. The first two runners made it after about 15 minutes because they got lost (don’t know how). Faucet got back just after the back just after the dune leg because he need a beer and couldn’t wait any longer and then after the walkers came most of the pack except for Nutcracker and Grunter who turned up halfway through the circle. There were two boy virgins who did the Inca Waltz and seemed to be enjoying it. We had Brazilian Coathanger doing the photography so we could get some aerial shots. It was a big night for Perky as she notched up fifty runs. She got a wet stool as there was no ice and was presented with her prized fifty run cup. She also got Faucet to sit on her knee as he was charged for some trivial matter. We had 4 namings with Nutcracker, Efux, Get Stuffed and Muscle Puller all being christened by the RA twins AT and Butterbitch. Don’t ask me how they got their names, you had to be there. We seem to be going through an era of semi naked men runners, did I miss the semi naked women runners era or is it yet to come? Slops was there selling warm Matsos beer to raise funds for her Hash Riders Gibb Bike Challenge Charity which seemed to go well. There was some sort of muddy pond over in the corner where lots of people spent most of the evening, apparently it had stools in the water so I decided not to go in. I think I saw a couple floating around when I took the photos.
And the food. Shit as you would imagine. Poorly catered for. No idea what sort of roast meat people liked so they just cooked all different sorts. Same with the salads. And the roast potatoes were crispy on all sides, not al dente like mine.It was so badly catered for that some people even had to go back two or three times to help get through it all. Yep what can I say? Definitely one of the most shit runs Hash has had.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
$10.00 for the run. Some Food, Some Beer, Some Running, Some Fun.
Run Starts at Town Beach Car Park at 5.45 for a 6.00pm off (No Delays!)
This is a point to point Run destination is Cable Beach.
Bring some extra money for drinks/afters/taxis/car pooling/bribes/chips(Slang)
Thanks to Matsos, APT.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Well that run sorted the men from the boys. Ali noname and Faucet taught a few people what hash was about and what a hardcore bunch of hashers they were. Raining, cold, shit run through drains, bush, prickles, half washed out arrows and checks yet they battled on. Trapped behind fences with Faucet laughing at them and then squeezing under fences or then getting their own back by climbing over them to make me panic they would be skewered. And where were all the slack old regulars, especially the RA’s. We had to break in a new RA. The honourable (questionable) Cock in a Frock had the job thrust upon him and handled himself well. He had the 4 virgins dancing around the light. Charged a few people for fence climbing, over or under. No birthdays of course and no new names but we do need to give a few. Yamashittasuckerfish told a dodgey apple joke which I won’t be repeating to my mother and Vagrant read another from her mobile phone. It drizzled rain but the food was so good no-one cared. Noname produced Kebabs and falafels and salads and chocolate cake with cream. People sheltered under the trees or just stood in the rain. Not like most of the April runs I remember. The new waterproof camera is great but the lens gets wet and makes the photos a bit funny. Looks like it’s snowing in this one and the girl with the pindan breasts obviously fitted under the fence, but then so did Booberater. Vagrant went the long way.
Next week at Storks place.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
So it was the turn of Tinny Arse and Guzzle Guts to set last weeks shit run and they did so in style. Faucet arrived early which apparently confused some people but he had been given the important task of picking up the Matso’s ginger beer on the way. There was a page of people who set off; the walkers had a map, the runners no idea. Apparently some of the runners ended up on last weeks trail, others just got lost and a few of the guys just ran around, semi naked, pumping up their bodies until they glistened with sweat and then ran back to act as eye candy for the girls. A.T. ran the circle and critiqued the hares then the hares brought out this shit bottle of Mango liquor shooter stuff that their grandmother had given them for xmas and they didn’t want and made all the people who missed the right trail shoot one. That was everyone. There was a virgin who did a pretty dance around the Inca stone. There were two namings and my senility has combined with my tardiness and I forget what they were called. I feel embarrassed as it was probably such an important thing to them. Sorry guys. So can some young person with a complete set of brain cells comment them in for me? There were a few big announcements with A.T. telling us he’d made a deposit in Westpac and she won’t be available for a run one week during October. Well done guys. That’s right, I wanted to mention the guy that took his partners down down for her. What was that about? Butterbitch finally ended up getting his 50th commemorative mug which has been well earned. Urinal on the other hand is running away to Perth so he won’t get one. Hash just won’t be the same without his funny accent and gorilla shoes. And Stealth, if you are reading this, we all hope you are doing well without us. The food was pretty flash. Looked like fish but tasted like pork. Didn’t ask but I think it was couscous and salady stuff and then cake for desert.
I don’t usually mention the hash trailer on the blog but the hares handed it back in such good condition I thought I’d got the wrong trailer. I never realised it could be so neat in there. Can you come to my house for a visit? Deep Throat was the camera girl. See you all next week.