Monday, November 29, 2010


This'd be set by blokes for sure. Particularly where we don't tell you where it is until the last minute!

I blame barge - she sprained her ankle rather spectacularly on Thursday and couldn't type up the email. who knew she wrote with her foot? Actually it was lost in all teh other crap attached to teh email and everyone forget. Much like this one.........

1745 tonight to be transformed into a true gentleman at entrance point carpark (Ask someone for directions if you need to)

Bring torches.

Entrance Point car Park

Actual cooked food by red and bandit. Vegetarians bring something to have with rice - I couldn't be assed preparing two meals.

6.00 OFF

Torches essential. Mos would be handy but we will have fake ones for those unable or unwilling to sprout their own. Not waxing for a week or two counts as a mo.

Bring torches.

Monday, November 22, 2010

RUN#203 22NOV

Hare-Cock Up
Virgin Hare-Max no name
@44 Blackman St
Meet 545pm leave 6pm
Food & Drinks
On On Barge

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Run# 202 November 15th

Virgin Hares & Hares are-Octopussy, Spec, Butter Bitch & Perky

From-Solway oval (not the park with the play equipment), Solway Loop Cable Beach.

When-tomorrow 545pm leaving at 6pm

Food & Drink


Run#200 The Trash

How do you guys with jobs ever get time to do anything? So, obviously I’ve had to work lately and the Trash and its avid readers have become casualties. Poor Faucet, I hear you say, well, poor or not I have to get Trash 200 and 201 done so I can sleep at night. Actually if I wasn’t able to sleep at night I guess I could get up and write the Trash. Mmmm. Run 200. A momentous occasion but unfortunately it was now so long ago I forget what happened. But I have photos! Fish Fingers usually come in a pack of 15 but sadly on this occasion she was on her own and had to set the whole run alone. Actually why is she called Fish Fingers when there is only one of her. Focus I don’t have time to stuff around. Being on her own didn’t make the run any shorter. I vaguely remember running down every street in Sunset Park and Sunset Rise before getting the overwhelming desire to stop trying to find arrows and run back to the beer. I wasn’t alone. The beer was cold and plentiful so I just got one out and watched all the little orange hatted people come staggering in. Wow man those orange hats. I knew they were bright but didn’t know how bright until I saw the photos. There were lots of us and lots of hats and lots of pizzas and lots of down downs. I think it was a Cockup Red combo for the RA and even Kama got in on the act a bit. I do remember Cockup leading “Swing Low” and that’s right I remember Barge getting a little pissed and the quiet skinny fit looking guy found the $35 that the other girl lost and so he ended up with the name Pickpocket. And that’s right Yamashitta got a name extension which will really fuck up the name column width in the sign in book. Something to do with something to do with something about her name in a book. Anyway I wouldn’t have time to write it today. Ask her or Red if you really need to know. We had a couple of sacrificial virgins. They’re sort of like free entertainment these days. I guess it’s a mild form of virgin abuse but most of them seem to think it’s normal and actually seem to enjoy it. Maybe they just think we’re laughing with them and not at them. Anyway keep dragging them along guys. The one defining thing about the 200th Run was two things. The Grog was free and people actually hung around for a while and had a few. The back of Faucets ute ended up full of empty cans, bottles and pizza boxes. Two recycle bins full to be exact. Speaking of Faucet, he had to demo the Downdownpipe. This medieval piece of technical equipment, stolen from a Derby Hash ritual will become a Broome Hash tradition as well now. Not sure who when or why but someone should get it each week. A little tip here, get in early as you wouldn’t want to have to use it in the dry season. Anyway that’s enough. Sorry I have an important Trash to write. Thanks to all those people who put in to make our 200th a great run and to you others who just turned up thanks too, otherwise we’d still be sitting there buried in orange hats eating pizza. One last thing. We still have hats so if you have a friend or relative you don’t like then buy them on of these beauties for Xmas. (Broome souvenir) I’m not joking, I’m not like that. Buy one. Do it. Hey another last thing. Why don’t we see if we can sell some hats on Ebay. Broome Hash. Guantanamo Orange. Now the final last thing. Don’t forget to read next weeks Trash. Below.

Run#201 The Trash

I had to put run 201 in prior to run 200 because if I didn’t people would cheat and read them non-sequentially and that would be difficult for me to deal with and if you are actually reading this one first so that you can read them in order then you have more problems than me. Go back to the other one. If all of this doesn’t make sense to you then that’s okay, you’ll be fine. Last week was Prickly Bush and Deep Throat’s Epic run. It was a bit of mine is longer than yours run after Fish Fingers semi-marathon the week before, but hey it’s all good. I need the workout and it’s not going to kill anybody, although I think I saw Muppet and Fingers start the run but didn’t see them at the end. Not sure what happened there. All care and no responsibility. If they don’t turn up in the next few weeks we might have to replace them. I think it was our first run from Pelcan Gardens Park. Shit run of course but the food after was pretty good. Dining under the car headlights was pretty romantic. About forty hot sweaty, beer soaked bodies and in the case of Barge, Champers as well. Yes it was Barges big 100. Only the second woman in the existence of Broome Hash to have hit one hundred. She took the Downdownpipe, which was a first for a Broome woman. She did it all in front of a big crowd. Speaking of doing it in front of a big crowd, two virgins, arms locked, spinning around in a circle within a circle. We didn’t mean they had to drink their downdown while performing but they did and did it well. Cockup is still in town and RA’d. I’m guessing Mr and Mrs Anal Tool are off bonking themselves silly on their honeymoon at the moment. “Hi guys” if you’ve stopped long enough to find an Internet CafĂ© on the Galapagos Islands. I was commenting on the food to the hares and they said it took a bit of organising as they were working girls! Upon realizing their faux-pas they tried unsuccessfully to dig themselves out of the hole. I’m sure they are really nice girls with good respectable jobs and that their parents are very proud of them. Stealth and I had media charges. The downdowns were shit. Warm beer and hot coke. That left over coke from the pizza night has got to go. Slow Lane, can you bring some Matsos ginger beer next week. That’s it for me. I’m now officially caught up. See you tomorrow. When we find out where it is.

Monday, November 8, 2010

RUN #201 08NOV

Virgin Hares:- Prickly Bush & Deep Throat

Venue:- Park at Pelcan Gardens, Old Broome

Old Broome Estate, The old OTC block or Anne Street Shortcut for others.

Time:-545pm leaving at 6pm

Food & Drinks


Monday, November 1, 2010

Run#199 The Trash

Okay, I know, I’m late, but hey that’s me. We all have our talents. Speaking of which, Director likes to put on a show and of course he did so for Halloween. Last Monday night a group of Broome citizens went into the Kimberley Bookshop and came out Zombies. I was a bit scarily surprised how some people relished the opportunity to zombiefy and how some others looked so real. Hi Quickie. It was not so much of a traditional run as an orgy of running around like Zombies looking for populated places to plunder. Not many people followed my philosophy of running out in front of passing cars as I figured we were already dead that it wouldn’t hurt and if we did get hit it would give my fellow St. John volunteers a bit of a fright. Started off running through the Roey, a bit shy and then started to liven up a bit by that restaurant on the corner whose name escapes me at the moment. Not many people did the on backs as who wants to run off alone when you have other Zombies to hang with and by this stage we’d already figured we be hitting all the big spots so we headed straight to them. Coles was good, security seemed out numbered and as equally uninterested. Up the travelator through the carparks and on to see Ronald. A quick photo opp there then over to the Police station where Director pushed the red button. The cop came out as we were take the group photo under the police sign. Then retreated back inside. I suppose they deal with weirdos all the time so it was back in to eat donuts. What do Aussie Cops eat? It was then up the hill to the Mangrove. We had some enroute compliments and encouragement from our indigenous spectators. The Zombie Conga had slowed and we waited to regroup before swarming the Mangrove, except for Barge and someone else who went it alone. Not sure if it had the same effect. My guess is they just looked like a couple of weirdos. We on the other hand ran the gauntlet enmasse through the diners and across the stage and even got a mention by the band. Then we were gone. At Matsos we were told to fuck off by the manager. He gets a down down for that next week. Irish Murphys was a bit homely as it looked like a Morgue, and the girl at the Hospital couldn’t raise a smile, even when I asked her if she remembered me. Uranus was the only hospital person brave enough to come into A&E. The dark streets on the way to the Kimberley Klub were hauntingly pleasant and when we got there the taxi full of young Asian girls seemed a little distressed when AT and I opened the car door for them and the rest of the mob welcomed them out. Now I think back I don’t think they got out until we left. It was here the mob split. Some of the zombies were getting tired and headed back but a dozen of us headed west to the Boulevard. I’m just thinking of the irony of being a zombie in the Boulevard. I find it depressing, as I do all shopping centres which obviously has nothing to do with hash but just the infliction of my personal views on you if you are still reading. It’s that whole Gruen Transfer shit. Anyway back to the run. It was through Liquorland or what ever Woollies call their Liquorland then through the frozen food section and out through the checkouts where some of us appeared to be working in green shirts. It was pretty much an on home from there although Yamashitta and I popped into Blockbuster and asked the staff where the Horror section was. They just pointed blankly towards the rear wall in unison. Not sure if they epitomised the youth of today or maybe they just get bored with weird looking, sweating Zombie people coming into the store. Back at Zombie Central the beers were going down. I’m supposed to be writing a 3000 word essay on the sustainability ethics and corporate philosophy of a major corporation so I have to speed up. Circle great. One virgin. One naming. Irish guy became Urinal. Can’t work out why.

Cockup came in un zombie clothes. Food great (especially the homemade chilli burgers). Director caught on fire while BBQing and then threw burning shirt onto dry grass. Fire started, luckily Red not there. Had screen with scary video clips. All great except for the very end bit where Director discovered his expensive camera was missing. Not sure what happened to it. He was pretty distressed. If anyone has any ideas of what could have happened to it….

Tonight. Run number 200. See you there.