Thursday, September 30, 2010
What can I say? Another Shit Red run. Oh, I forgot the chalk. Oh, I forgot the flour. Oh, it’s so hot. Oh, my dress keeps riding up my arse. Toughen up bitch. Not you helper hare girl who still doesn’t have a name yet. At least you were able to drive him around to put his little notes out. Anyway regardless of all that, 15 people still turned up for the run. Even poor Faucet who forgot to bring his shoes did the run in his thongs. Please note that’s plural. But there was one saving grace. The cocktail. It may have looked like a bucket of vomit in the back of the ute but served up in fancy glasses with a strawberry embellishment it was tré flash. I think everyone enjoyed it, some even several times, The circle was small and cosy and in his inalienable style A.T. pulled out another virgin special and had the new guy hopping around in a circle on one foot. He even managed to take his down down the same way. Style. And we had a naming which is always fun. The fit looking guy who did the run with his friend the volleyball ended up being called Wilson. Tom Hanks. Castaway. Just in case you needed help. There was no food, actually there was some token nibbly shit but nothing I could substitute for dinner. There was post run entertainment with car bogging. It started with random tourists but then moved on to hashers. Actually the ones in the two wheel drives got through no probs, it was just the hare girl with no name that got her 4x4 bogged in the soft sand. We were fortunate to have AT stand around and direct procedures so any potential traffic jams were avoided. People left early to see old Buttlips. Quickie took the flash photos this week. Thankyou.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Wow! Crusty Franger. That’s all you need to get 40 people to come, well it was Monday night anyway. I think we broke all records for a numbers for a non special run. Not that all our runs aren’t special mind you. Crusty staggered in around six with a red face and SOB (that’s short of breath for the few of us who don’t work for the health department). He’d just set the run and what a shit run it was. We were chicken almost every intersiction but that helped keep the big herd together. I guess that’s a Kiwi skull or maybe even an African one. Crusty offered plenty of times to opt out as we passed close to home several times. At some stage after 27kms about 33 of us decided enough was enough and left the hare and sivin suckers run the last six km’s alone. It seemed to take a while but then we heard they got stuck into a slab of emu which slowed them down. All this was good for Franger as she toiled away in a panic making spaghetti. We moved the trailer over to the footpath under a street light opposite Frangers where Red jumped out and scared a few and Slang set up a sidewalk Tee shirt stall. The two score of us circled up while AT did his stuff. We had a few returnees, Effing still wearing the original hash loincloth from her last run. It’s pretty obvious by the lack of supply, that the latest Hash Shirts are a real ‘must have’ fashion accessory in Broome. There was some discussion about a slight change to the design for the new batch with maybe a boab or the runners holding a beer but penes, turkeys or hairy gonads never got a mention. That’s okay though as most of our visitors turn up wearing them. Porno graced us with his presence despite his hectic schedule servicing the Kimberley Communities. It was nice to see him again. For those that don’t read the blog then you won’t get this but we now know that the person in the light was not Cockup but actually Fishfingers as Red and Faucet spotted her again under a streetlight. Why does she do that? We had the Brewins from Scotland or Perth or somewhere turn up and fortunately Slang was there for translating purposes. The few of us that attempted to take off the Scottish accent ended up sounding like Raja from Mumbai trying to sell a new mobile phone. The Broons bought a virgin with them, which was a nice offering, we paired him up with the other one someone else bought along and ring a ring a rosied them into the fold. Slops did a sad shoe skol but at least she did it I guess. Crackerfat fessed up that it was her birthday and Gash put in a proxy for hers. Speaking of Gash, she’s only got 3 weeks to go before that thing that Woodpecker put in there comes out. I guess at least if she has it on a run she be well catered for by all our health professionals. We could also name it for them in the circle. Speaking of which, we have quite a few newbies waiting on names. A whisper of the Famous Five could see a quarter score of them labelled next week. We’ll need the bookworms there for that one. The Hares did a great job with the food. Spag Bol for all. I’m going to bed now, I’m tired. Oh No! Red’s been at it again. I feel like the bridesmaid. Fair enough.
Mixed bag of running and walking and short cutting taking place and the pack held up until they were in sight of home and the Hash Trailer full of beer - resistant though it was to tampering.
There were more accents than you could poke a pauline hansen at - We had some visitors from Perth by way of Dundee and two virgins. I believe one of them tried to cheer crusty up by telling him what a great run he'd set! What a load of shit!
Great run - novel checks. Though i wouldn't to take the front runners to the pub - none of the seem to know how to shout. Towards the end of the run as decided by the majority of the pack there was a great little double back around the construction area - my first visit to old seaview shopping centre for a few years - much in the same state of repair as when I was last there.
Long long long wait for the stragglers that actually "completed" the run and had their hash halt - though if you want the entire pack to turn up then maybe Emu Export isn't teh way to get them there - Porno certainly suck his up - still a month or two in Fitzroy'll do that.
On the subject of porno Faucet would like to apologise for mistaking Fish Finger for Cock-up and me for mistaking Crack-a's arse for butter's.....
Slang is copping some flack in her new role as Haberhasher and rightly so. I noticed she palmed of a shirt to Kamakaze which had some suspicious extra room up front, up top.
She seems to have taen to the job though setting up an impromptu stall on the foot paths for passersby.
We saw the long anticpated return of F-in after a long solo career of walking and running the streets.
Down down's there were a few and the nugget of a new virgin song and accompanying actions based on "ring a ring a rosy" was dropped from the collective creative orifice.
Stealth was photographed in someone else's dress. this seems to be a hash thing though it is usually Faucet or CIAF.
Slops wore ludicrously new and pastelly shoes that turned out to be waterproof! Handy for drinking out of though she was a little reticent.
That's all i can rember happening - the problem with haveing good beer at Hash is I drink too much of it and my recall fails. Unlike the other trasher, I don't have the benefit of photos to jog my memory - though I may have a billion more synapses then that geriatic old bastard!
There seems to be a ground swell towards having an earlier run next week which could be good. Apparently someone called John Buttlips is playing??? So it is a run and tequila sunsets at 5.00pm and screw the food! Not even Hot Chips!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
It has to be a shit run when you get covered in real shit. Those sprinklers on the golf course ain’t pumping out Evian. And golf courses. Is it just me or aren’t they places where you run around naked at midnight. Actually that’s probably just my memories of my youth popping in there. What ever happened to streaking? It used to be a cultural pathway in my generation. Running free. Me, Kama and Director. That thought even scares me. Move on. Anyway Monday night there was a couple of dozen of us running/walking clothed around the light industrial area, golf course and sewerage ponds of beautiful Broome. Kama and Cock in a Frock set the run which started off with a nicely packed bunch and ended with a big on home which left us slackers getting back one beer behind the fast guys.
AT was the RA in what was a fairly normal circle after a few biggies like Shinju and the AGPU. No one’s been naughty or in the media or wearing new shoes so it was hard to dish out the down downs. Franger and Quickie had one for something and the people without hash shirts obviously had to have one. Crusty had one for some reason and that was about it. And Finger!
The food was a new thing with Kama organising the Cuban pizza guy with his portable pizza oven to do the Hash nosh. Not bad either. On On Bye Bye.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Please park on the nature strip outside No 27 Dora Street [The number 27 is painted on the curb]
Don't park on the Guy Street nature strip under any circumstances all parking to be in Dora street.
Baloons will be placed on a gap in the fence to mark the entrance in Dora Street. Go to unit 2 the
middle unit. for the On On Venue.
Thanks for your co-operation
Meet 545pm Leave 6pm
Food & Drinks
$5 Run $5 Food
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
AGPU. Well none of this political hung parliament shit for Broome Hash. No back room deals, independants, postal votes PMs or GG’s. Get a circle, A.T. just says who wants to be GM. Barge says Faucet. He says well.. um.. and then he downs a beer and its all over. And all the ministries go to the same suckers as last year unless they’re old and cagey enough like Muppet to weasel out of it. And Red even if you do turn up late in your fancy clothes you still keep your job. In fact even if you don’t turn up you’re still in. Congrats Slow Lane. Not to downplay the effort put in by those said people who keep the club running. Westpac Hash Cash, Barge Hash Sex (she spells it differently), Hash Trash and I guess Flash, Faucet and the new Haberdash, Slang. We also have some depth in the RA’s with AT, Slow, Red, Faucet, Cockup and the new trainees Butterbitch and I think Slang and Fish Fingers (I think that’s right). Hash other stuff like trailers is usually sorted by Conchie although that wasn’t mentioned. And Red did the shirts. Director retains the strategic events portfolio and last but not least the Old man Kama remains the old barstard who started it all. He got a late pass from Germanus Kent to attend the evening. Fortunately it was a pram and walking frame friendly run. Yeh right! And all those Hares who set trails and fed people, better thank ourselves for that too. If I’ve forgotten anyone, bad luck, I don’t like you or I forgot or I just got sick of writing stuff. Wow this has gone on longer than the actual AGPU. For those of you having trouble dealing with all the acronyms, S.S.! Well I don’t have to spend too much time writing about the run. It was shit.
There were several hundred of us for the circle which is pretty good as we didn’t mention the evening was gratis. Heir Westpac and Hare Anal Tool had to take the first of hundreds of down downs. Mac the Mouth was there to show us how practice makes perfect. Virgins. Ring a ring a Rosey??? A.T. where are you getting all this shit from. It’s great. I’m glad I’ve already lost my virginity. We had a few returnees. Old faces and old bodies. We had two namings which was cool. The Don was almost christened Priscilla but at the last minute got renamed Cock in a Frock so CIAF it is. You know how it happens, you can act like Ghandi all your life but sniff a seat, have sex with a goat or wear a dress and that’s all people remember. Not that I was thinking Cock in a Frock was like Ghandi. Maybe poor? And the blondie girl who hasn’t been for a while ended up being called Floater. Shit Name. Something to do with floating around on True North while the rest of us were working.
The source of power of any Hash would have to be the Esky and ours now has a dual purpose. It is an Honour Board for the legends who have done a hundred. Well done guys and girl and Conchie. Speaking of honour we also acknowledged those Dragon Boat legends with an impromptu boat race. My side won. I’m nearly finished. Food. As always, new, interesting hearty and plentiful. Well done guys. I’m stopping now.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Special AGPU Run (pram friendly route)
Hares AT & Westpac
14 Goshawk Loop, Roebuck
Meet 545pm leave at 6 pm
Food & Drinks
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Shinju Matsuri translates into big crowd shit run. And it was. We are rapidly becoming the leading Shinju icon event. We even pulled in people from