Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Red, you slack arse prick. Three thousand people gathered at Town Beach for your 100th run and then you wimp out. There were market stalls and food vans and hippy looking people with thingy twirlers and even the moon rose to the occasion but you scampered off into the darkness like some snowdropper after the deed. Talk about premature evacuation. Speaking of which, Stealth and Slops got the wanker song for their hard work spending hours setting an amazing run with no arrows and confusing squiggly symbol thingies. The run started off well, well, it started off late but that was cool by me as since the invention of nasal technology I don’t come early any more. After searching half heartedly for Red, Slowlane and I went looking for the trail. I think it was somewhere around Matso’s that I found the first spot of flour and then an arrow on Kennedy hill. Fredrick Street seemed to have heaps of arrows. I must say that the hares kept the pack together well. It was orange quarters at the hospital and then off again on the arrow hunt. We got smart and decided to hang with the hares for verbal arrows but then Slops, even with the aid of a map couldn’t work out which way the trail went. In the end it was a mutiny and somewhere in the pack an on home was yelled and it was shortest route to Town Beach for all. It was then the arrows started to appear, pointing in the wrong direction but who cared, the beer was calling and the moon about to rise. Back at the trailer Red had left some note about having to rush home or to Germanus Kent to have sex with his dying grandmother or some similarly lame excuse. His name was struck from the book but he’ll get another chance next week if shows his red face. Suppose I shouldn’t really be picking on Red all the time when I can easily pick on the hares or the virgins of which we had a couple. While I’m talking about virgins, jeez some of them can down a beer quick. One of the girl virgins was almost as quick as Funnel. We should have some sort of down off one night. Muppet you’re excluded because the beer actually has to be downed internally. It was good to see Barge back and a few others who’d been away.
Burgers, snags and onions and cake and coleslaw. Why do people by coleslaw, no-one actually eats coleslaw do they? Nice night, good workout, everyone earned their beers and no-one got lost and we all ended up with full bellies. Thanks hares. Next week maybe a centurion. Turn up and find out!!!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
The Real Muppet chucking a down down over her head
The World Cup. That’s nothing. Less than 2 billion people but more than 30 people turned out for the most anticipated sporting event in Broome this year. Muppet. What a woman. The female Kamikaze. 100 runs. The two men that are soon to follow in her footsteps. Red and Cockup were there to observe the spectacle and observe they did as they sat on their flat arses drinking beer after they found run too confusing and on homed early. I can’t really blame them. I, like lots of others was a bit lost too. But hey Westpac wanted to set a special run for a special girl and she did. The winning word was not “fucked if I know” but actually “Glückwünsche Muppet” Unfortunately no-one got it so the prize will jackpot to next week. When I first started Hash, Muppet was a powerhouse, setting the pace and leaving the boys in her wake. The hundred runs has now slowed her down or maybe it was all those false trails she followed Red on until she figured out he’s a loser (loser as in a person who loses people and the pack and the trail). Now she just runs around making old people like me feel that I’m really fit.
Back to the run. It must be said we did get to learn a bit more about Roebuck Estate. We had a handful of virgins turn up who are probably still trying to work out what Hash is all about and wonder why Muppet is still there. A few oldies turned up as well. Porno and Fishfingers were there but very subdued. It was also a special night with lots of people wearing Red Noses. No silly, not red noses like Red’s nose but silly red bulbous ones in aid of SIDS. Gash and Woody have a strong connection with SIDS and Gash has written a book which she had there for sale but as it had her real name on it not many people realised the connection.
Slang was back in good form and her achievements were a bit under stated with all the other stuff going on. She had her 50th Run. Her Mum came over from the
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Having trouble getting my brain down into crap mode. It’s always best to be in sync with your target audience. I mean, what sort of idiots stand around outside Zanders in the cold, drinking beer from shoes and sing stupid songs. About 20 was my guess. You always know it’s a shit run when one of the hares doesn’t turn up. Half of the arrows were missing too. And people got lost. No, hang on, that was just Red and he just mysteriously suspiciously temporarily disappeared. Butterbitch just kept popping up like a rabbit in the middle of nowhere saying go this way or not that way but in the end I guess we all got a workout so it’s all good. Good to have Slowlane released from domestic duties to continue his role as RA. It was great to see a few old faces like Yama, Slowlane, Funnel, Fluffer (spelling?) and Franger show up. Talking of old faces, Muppet was there for her 99th run. She wasn’t her usual jovial self, I think the pressure of being the first female in the history of Broome Hash to do 100 runs is taking its toll. There were a couple of visitors from down south who had more than a couple before the run started. I don’t remember coming across them on the trail. Tackle Box. Dickhead. New shoes! A few media down downs. Faucet, Westpac, Funnel and that other girl whose Hash name I can’t remember. The BBQ was fired up again and I just realised that Butterbitch didn’t butter my bread. What’s with that? Most of the coleslaw ended up in Conchie’s chickens but then it was a chilly evening and hot stuff was really the go. Hey Alpha, we need some of that yummy soup you made for that shit, wet, run in Januburu last year. Pash and Stealth dressed in hoddies and Red dressed in a hoodie without the hood which at least covered up his breasts. Girl. Speaking of Fish fingers and Porno which I wasn’t, where are they? The photos are pretty shit this week to go with the run and the coleslaw (the spicy sausages were good though). Next week Muppet 100 and red nose day at night. Maybe Slangs 50th if her Mum lets her out or maybe she could just bring her mum along. Back to work now. I've just logged on and found Red came before me. The youth of today. Anyway mine has pictures and tells the truth.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Driven to hash by way of Slow Lane's House. Waited several minutes ( I have mown my front lawn waiting for him in the past). The Delightful Pash driving Bertie the pretend car to Slangs house picking up slang - slang wedging half her arse onto the back seat - it was full of mine and Stealths.
Of to the Run. Glimmers of setting sun - i've never seen the other hashers look so good. As they were in silhouette none of the more frightening deformities were visible!
Off we went.
Auspicious start - no arrows for the first couple of hundred metres just a long line of hashers with the people without torches out in front everyone else bleating along behind them.
The trail was discovered by Red (after a helping finger from Butterbitch) and off we went. It is a physiological fact that in low light conditions pink surveyors tape is actually impossible to f...ing see.
You know when they do colour blind tests and they put pink and green together because they are difficult to differentiate? Yeh that's it!
The occasional chalk mark graced us with it's presence as if Perky's only contribution to the run had been a wildly astray propaganda drop from high altitude aircraft of a half doz. arrows otherwise scared of footpaths and kerbs.
Of we went past Pinctada following NO trail yet again. Everyone lost interest in following no trail turned around and picked it up at the divers. All teh best pickups happen there.
I on the other hand found a short cut - it involved a six foot high chain link fence two strands of barb wire and the near puncturing of my left nut. Still well worth the 500 metres it saved me running back the other way. I can't believe Muppet didn't follow me!
I found Cracka and we both were discovered by Butter bitch - Cracka ran off saying she was going to do her own little run ( This means walk back to Home without anyone noticing)
After running around in circles stopping for a beer and chips at a mates place (sorry Slang), losing Softy on Gubinge road I ran on home to find teh Barby going and everyone milling around socialising instead of getting circled up. Wouldn't have happened in Cock Ups DAY!
I think we had a couple of visitors from Albany. hellos were exchanged and they wandered of somewhere around the carpark and may have made it to the divers.
Sorry. Nearly digressed into expressing gratitude to Hares and people that do things to make hash happen each week.
I'll sign off with a swipe at my house building exam sitting rat catching compadre who managed to post the last blog 35 minutes before the run!
Tonight's $5 goes to charity. Apparently it is Red Muppet day on Friday so we've decided unilaterally to donate proceeds to this great day. If scintillating conversation, exercise and a little bit of silliness don't tempt maybe the thought of donating to Red Muppet day will get you along.
Also The Nose is celebrating her 100th Run (beat me on a count back or percentages). Only the second runner to achieve this startling milestone (the other being Kamikaze(No longer with us (at hash, much))
ANYWAYS; RUN DETAILS - Oh shit it's Roebuck estate again! Bags running 'round the primary school!
Hares: Happy & Westpac
Venue: 14 Goshawk Loop crn Swift Way in Roey Estate
Start: 5.45 pm for 6 pm Start
Food and Drinks provided
Red Nose Day Run & Muppets 100th Run to celebrate
Torches or Infrared useful
Monday, June 14, 2010
Probably as good a time as ever to roll out a few cliché’s like “better late than never”. Cracker set a cracker of a run. Director was the RA and rambled on about how great it was. He even outrambled that memorable time when Cockup raved on about some run one day in the past.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
I think there was a trampoline.
Getting enforced these Chilly Dry Seasons nights is becoming a health hazard.
Oh and funnel had nothing to do with the run.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Sorry loyal blog followers, no blog again this week due to overwhelming commitments which will no doubt have me doing more down downs next week.
Hopefully after that all back to normal.