Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Cycle Rogaining - nearly as silly as Hash - Give it a try!

RUN #170 05APR10


Venue:-10 Stewart, Old Broome

Time:-545pm for 6pm Off

Yes Food & Drinks

Yes you do need Torches

Friday, March 26, 2010

Run#168 The Trash

I’m tired and I have a sore leg and a sore wrist. Does anybody care? My kids don’t care, I phoned my mother but she’s not home so I thought at least there’s always the HHH suckers who read this. You mightn’t care but once you have read it you can’t unread it. It all started when I was a young child. No, not really, it started after the run on Monday night when I ended up getting lots of ambulance calls and hardly any sleep and then the next night the crew had to drop out and I ended up on duty again and we got hammered and I only got another 2 hours sleep. And then I actually had to work this week doing plumbing. I know what you’re saying, “How did you hurt your leg” Well I did that playing soccer on Wednesday night. “But what about your wrist?” No, it wasn’t what you are suggesting it was also a soccer injury. Actually now I’ve had a whinge I feel much better. Thanks for your support.
I guess I should also write about the run. Fantastic run. Great Hares. Not too long or too short. Lots of long on backs. Lots of stunned hashers walking around in circles, too scared to wander off by themselves in dodgy streets, or at least waiting around until someone actually found the right trail as they’d taken too many wrong ones and no longer trusted Yamashitta or Faucet to hint which was the right way. Phew. Long sentence! Nice bushy parts with a burnt out car body for the kids to play on. See photo. I have forwarded this photo to the police and you guys will probably get a call soon. Back at Yama’s there was a nice pool, cold beers and the circle. Slowlane dragged the famous four, Yama, Quickie, Wespac and Faucet into the pool for down downs. Amazing how many celebrities we have in Hash. Pyjama pants boy had to have a down down as it was his last run with us. Apparently he’s a bit of a Hash Slut and has been through a few Hash’s as opposed to having been through a few Hashers which would make him just a manslut (According to my daughters that’s what you call studs these days).
Slow also had to have down down for being a passport virgin. We don’t have passport virgin song so we just sang the regular virgin song instead. Speaking of which, we seemed to have morphed that into a decent song by eliminating the last line and going straight into the down down down bit. We used it earlier on some poor hapless virgin who ran with a camel pack and a couple of litres of water. If she wasn’t scared off and comes back with the pack next week she might end up being named early. We should have a naming next week with the “hardcore” triathlon girl needing a “hardcore” name. Any suggestions?? And the dog. He didn’t get a down down but jumped in the pool each time just in case. And Funnel forgot to turn on her thingy so I can’t tell you exactly how far we ran.
The food was great. Hamburgers and salad and a nice potato salad on the side.
Next week Quickies out at Cable Beach. Should be great. And Red you slack arse. Do runs I help set scare you? You always seem to miss them???
Off for a nana nap. bye.

RUN #169 29MAR Sweat & Sunset on Cable Beach


Venue:-Cable Beach, next to Zanders

Food & Drinks

Torches a good idea

BYO Chairs if you do not wish to sit on the grass

545-6pm off

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Run#167 The Trash

Welcome to the Hash House Harriers Fishfingers and Chips Club. We meet each Monday night and eat fish fingers and chips at various houses in Roebuck Estate. Please come along. Oh and we also do mini marathons. Guys, the planes have big engines and they only have to run the length of the runway once. We had to do two lengths and two widths and then do it via Roebuck Estate and Old Broome and almost into Cable Beach and Sunset Park. And half of it in the dark! At one stage my navigation beacon was playing up and I was worried about getting lost. If I did, then I don’t even have a black box. I think I’ll leave it there. 10.38 kms, must be a bit of a record except for the on back that Two Dogs set near Blue Haze last year. Speaking of on backs, didn’t see too many of them and what’s with setting a marathon with one stick of chalk and a cup of flour. I guess you were just being resource conscious! That’s good. Well we got a good workout, twenty five hashers and two virgins, not a bad turnout. You must have scared off the virgins though as they were no where to be seen at the end. I should also mention that during the run poor Franger got a puncture when she opted to climb the fence with the shortcut boys. Hopefully she can be repaired. The circle a la Red meant a mass standup as almost everyone was sitting after the run. The hares Porno and Fishfinger got the Shit Run Toilet Seat and rightly so. The two new Fifties were the first charges with Westpac finally getting her 50th Run cup a few runs ahead of her Analtool. The other was Faucet who is still running after 50 years. Wow he’s getting on! I would just like too add a public thanks to the Troublesome Trio of Pash, Slang and Stealth who gave me a lovely set of silky grey tights, some leopard skin undies, a leopard skin shirt and a sparkly gold wrestlers mask. Will they make me look younger? Why do I need a mask? Yes, I can’t wait until the dry and we have a Superheroes Hash Run and the Faucinator will be there! And Red, what’s with the Cock Book. I asked for a Cookbook! And thankyou to those who attended my party. Enough about me. Namings. Yes. Two. Short little blonde ex-virgin girl is now called Funnel. She almost got Data because of her iphone she straps to her arm, but that was a bit lame and then Deep Throat which was probably a bit the other way and anyway Linda Lovelace is old enough to be her Grandmother. [old people laugh here, young people show weird expression]. She ended up with Funnel due to the way she can put away a beer. She can down a beer faster than Muppet can pour hers out behind her head. Someone suggested Funnel lacked sexual innuendo but as I mentioned on the night, that you need a funnel when inserting a gerbil. Not many people got it. What do they teach in schools these days? A quick look on Google to check the spelling of gerbil exposed the fact that you first need to declaw and shave them. I guess we can all learn something no matter how old we are. And Porno’s Bitch finally got his own name. Fluffy or Fluffie or Fluffer (sorry I missed the spelling). The two new namers downed their beer together but Funnel gave Fluffy a 5 second head start and then still beat him. Food. Wait. Director made an announcement of his new Chilli and Cheese Diet so I’m guessing he didn’t partake. We wish him well. Fishfingers and chips again but there was also a yummy spicy soup which was great. Good night guys, despite me rambling on on.

RUN #168 22MAR - Going Industrial!

For those who missed last weeks marathon - lucky, lucky bastards! For those that didn't this run will be shorter!

I'm sure we'll go past the Sewage Works and the Water Tower and down on to Demco Beach, possibly frolic beneath the recycled water sprinklers at the golf course?

Will we have fishfingers and chips 3 weeks in a row? What culinary masterpieces are in store for us - where's Boobs?

What's the go with the easterly breeze in the morning?

Anyway enough conjecture here it is;







Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Run#167 March 15

Hares:-Porno & Fish Fingers

Venue:-17 Sugar Glider, RE


Food & Drink

545-Leave 6pm

See you at the Party on Sunday?
What party? Check out the blog!

On On

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Run#166 The Trash

What happens when you let Yamashita and Tacklebox set a run? Bring out the Shit Run Toilet seat. Actually I thought it was a good run as Red always seemed to take all the false trails. Even when he gave up and stood by the big boab and waited for some other sucker to find the wrong trail, he ended up following a group headed in the wrong direction. Sucker! Talking of non suckers, poor Slang and Faucet found a trip wire and ended up with horrendous wounds. Maybe horrendous is a bit over the top but it’s a word I haven’t used yet in the blog and that seems a shame. Speaking of Faucet I have to say some nice things about him this week as not only is it his Big Birthday this week but one of the Hashers mentioned to him that he gets a hard time on the blog. Sorry Faucet. Idiot! Not me. Her! The run was long but short little blond ex virgin girl had her iphone and said we ran 5.38km. Bullshit. It was obviously longer for those of us with longer legs. At one stage a few of us were lost and we saw Tacklebox in the distance who said “Ahh hock mar durndoo”, then pointed and disappeared. Who knows what that was about? After the Blue Haze tour I think somehow the whole 26 of us ended up back at Muppets. Cockup was the Religious Advisor for the evening and dragged up a few worthy down downers. Perky was up there again for her picture in the paper as were a few others and come to mention it Cockup should have been having one himself.
It was the short little blond ex virgins birthday. I think she’s in for a naming next week as it’s to hard to keep calling her by her current name. That girl can down a beer! I think she only comes along to show off. Pash was late with some dodgy sore ankle story. Barge made it to 80. The Muppet Cockup and Red Trio all now in the low 90’s. While we were waiting for the food, Cockup led the newbies through Swing Low. Tears to my eyes. The food. Muppet didn’t hold back. Copious amounts of bâtons de poisson, served with frites et pâtés and croûte de partie.
I love Bablefish. Makes shit sound fantastic.
Party. Faucet. Sunday Arvo/evening. Come along, meet people with normal names drink free beer and yes Perky I think there’s sasuage rolls. Bed time. Bye.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Birthday #50 March 14

Birthday Boy: Faucet
Birthday: 50
Date: 14th March
Location: 10 Stewart Street
Time: From 4.00pm
Cake: 7.00pm
Food: Finger
Drink: Beer and wine (anything else BYO)
Present: NO

Run#166 March 8

Hares:-Muppet, Yamashita & Tacklebox
Venue:-22 Shearwater Cr - Roebuck
Next monday
Torches probably wise
Food & Drink per usual
545pm for 6pm off.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Run#165 The Trash

Tell me. Does this photo look like the hares are saying “I hope they haven’t pissed in our down downs because we set such a shit run” and so they should. On a course more suited to a colony of amphibious rock wallabies it was a wonder we all made it back unscathed. Especially when you add in the distractions of the fantastic sunset and the full moon rising over the dunes. You could say it was a hard course but only because it was made of rock. Short blonde ex virgin girl was complaining it was difficult to traverse the terrain with such short legs while Stealth on the other end of the scale leapt from rock to rock with the airs and graces of a giraffe. Probably a good time to point out that our public liability is based on the principle that if you are stupid enough to voluntarily turn up to Hash then you are the liability, not Hash, and so we don’t need any. Speaking of stupid look at these idiots in the photo. One full moon and they’re werewolves. They hadn’t even had a drink yet. Cockup had the rescue vehicle at the lighthouse car park to ferry the wounded back to the circle but the fit mob that we are all opted for the run home option. Even Director. It was a funny circle as there were only about 20 of us and we are more used to mid thirties these days. Lots of people had good excuses. I saw Halfarsed in town surgically attached to some bird. Obviously he thinks sex is more fun than Hash. Pause. Continue. Analtool phoned Faucet an hour before the run to say he and Westpac wouldn’t be coming and could he pick up the Hash Cash on the way. Or at least that was what the slurred garbled message sounded like. Muppet, Porno and Fishfingers, Barge and a few others were outta town. Faucet ended up the Default RA again. No Virgins. The quote of the night came from one of the newbies. Alice Springs, that’s somewhere in the middle of Australia isn’t it? Lovely girl but needs to get out more. Too late for a down down though. In true Broome Hash tradition no-one had a birthday. Well I’ve got one coming up and you are all welcome. I put it on the Blog. Perky took a down down for having her photo in the paper without her Hash name and Two Dogs had one for being absent for so long.

Porno’s Bitch did a great job with the beer but unfortunately the esky was still nearly as full when it went back in the car at the end of the night. Well not really the end of the night it was pretty early. I worry about the youth of today. They just don’t know how to empty an esky on a Monday night.

The food. Well the picture says it all. This is what happens when you let two blokes who have never been exposed to phthalates organise the meal. Opps. Next week is at Muppets. Could be the same! Except Muppet adds salad and maybe a bread of grainy origon. That’s the difference. Come along. Find out! She likes to prove me wrong.

This last part is for the more cultured hash members and so the rest of you can get back to work now. I just read that Gantheaume point was named by the French as an eternal way of making fun of english speaking people who are new to Broome. As we all know after several years it becomes quite easy to say. Now that you can say it do you know who Vice Admiral Joseph Antoine Comte Gantheaume was. No. me either, and as they say in France “qui donne une merde”. Sad. I’m laughing at my own joke. Time to leave. .