Thursday, December 24, 2009

Run #155 The Trash

Ho Ho Ho. The Xmas Run. What a bunch of wankers. 13 in fact. We started at the prison and probably lucky we didn’t end up there. Following our hare Directors call sheet we ran the gauntlet of venues that had any possible audiences to hear the Hash Choir. The McDonalds version of the 12 days of Xmas was good but the staff didn’t quite get it. The run past the visitor centre brought on the first of 2 impromptu performances when the Greyhound bus pulled in. At the Laundromat we listened to Slang as she sang solo, her rendition of some crude English carol and then had our first beverage from the barrow. A quick rehearsal of that carol with the fa la la la la bits in it and it was on to the stage for the real thing at the “Checkouts in Coles”. We performed well under the flouro lights. Then off to the Lustre Bar where we received our first applause. As a choir member this was a touching moment for me but unfortunately we had no time for autographs as our hectic schedule had us performing at the Roey two minutes later. All the patrons at the Roey got right into Directors version of Frosty the Snowman. One of them did a little dance and the other took a picture on her mobile phone. Our cultural moment came when we sang one of the more traditional Christmas ballads to a family sitting by a fence on Kennedy Hill. We shared the barrow push and I think Slow Lane pushed it up the Hill to the Mangrove. The solo patron in the bar at the Mangrove was probably happy to see a crowd appear but sad when we just sang and ran. Matsos were so happy to have us perform there they even shouted us a ginger beer. I guess that made us a professional choir. No time for self adulation as we had to get over to the Mecure to sing to the diners. It was a large audience for us but we were becoming bolder and trying to get them to join in or at least skol their beers at the end. A round of applause sufficed. A quick top up from the barrow and out through the back of the Conti to the Hospital. This was the only venue where we had stage issues. We finally ended up in the Emergency Department. Thankfully to those of us who work or have connections with the hospital we managed to get in and out without recognition. There was a moment of hesitancy when we saw sad, sick people waiting in the waiting room so we sang quietly, in harmony and brought big smiles to their faces. The looked so happy I’m guessing they got up and left just after we ran out the door. Director was happy to leave off the last venue as the time was getting on but we were fired up and wanted to keep going. Blockbuster was a great closing location for us as we got to mingle with the stars, even if they were only cardboard cut-outs and on DVD cases. It was OnOn Home from there. Surprisingly, most people took to the pool so we had the circle there. Slow Lane led the proceedings and man who looks just like Santa with beard issues, Director, took the first Downdown as the Hare. Faucet celebrated his 50th run and received his commemorative mug which he downed with ease (and pleasure). Slang got charged for something, I can’t remember what but I’m sure she deserved it. For the first time in a long time we were virginless. I guess they thought we wouldn’t run in the wake of Cyclone Laurence but they were wrong. We always run (unless it snows)! We also had a naming with Nic getting christened Perky. Something to do with the cool temperature of my pool and her attire. The Food. Not only had Director put lots of effort into rewording the carols but he been hard at work in the kitchen and we got to eat Turkey and roast potatoes and two bowls of other stuff that I don’t recall eating at Xmas but were tasty all the same. And the smart bit at the end. I have discovered that it is highly unlikely that the Santa/Sleigh thing is real. Sorry if this has come as a shock to you but I was reading up about reindeer antlers, as we all do from time to time and I discovered that male reindeer loose their antlers in the spring and females in the summer which means that not only is this a long sentence but that if there was a Santa then his sleigh must have been pulled by female reindeer as the antlers are what set his sleigh apart from other flying objects. All the photos I have seen show antlers and many of the reindeer have boy names. I feel I’m beginning to ramble here. Bye.

Oh. The run was 4.3kms by the way.

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