Thursday, November 19, 2009

Run #150 The Trash

Shit. People are actually reading this blog now so it looks like I’ll have to stop swearing and use bigger, more smarter words. Firstly I should warn readers that this blog contains a picture of a male penis but I guess it’s too late now (you already looked at it didn’t you and yes it is very small). I’m going to start off with ISOTH I guess, who we all know is the Greek God of Running and not the shelia on the right in the dress. Our flash new Hash shirts (thanks Red) pay homage to this mythical legend who is said to be able to sip from the gilded chalice of Minyirr without spilling a drop. Legend also has it that he set trails in Peloponnese that even the roman chariots failed to conquer. Peloponnese of course is the most southern state of Greece, if you exclude the islands of Crete and South Aegean which of course you would. This would be a good moment to change to Phthalates. Although this sounds like another Greek God we all know he isn’t or at least you will soon. Besides being almost impossible to say, phthalates are a class of widely used industrial compounds known technically as dialkyl or alkyl aryl esters of benzenedicarboxylic acid. There are many phthalates with many uses, and just as many toxicological properties. Intentional uses of phthalates include softeners of plastics, oily substances in perfumes, additives to hairsprays, lubricants and wood finishers. That new car small which becomes especially pungent after the car has been sitting in the sun for a few hours is a popular Broome example. Why am I going on about this? Because I can. But also because the phthalates dibutyl phthalate (DBP) and diethylhexyl phthalate (DEHP) can produce dramatic changes in male sexual characteristics. These changes include increases in the rates of hypospadias and other indications of demasculinization. At this stage you may be saying what the fuck are you talking about but stick with me as it will soon become clear. Although I’m no Ichthyologist (it’s real, you can look it up) I have figured something out. The 150th Run was set by Red and Faucet and was a good solid workout. But, from 27 starters only 4 guys finished the entire run. Except for Pash and Slang and Tug and someone else who sort of missed the very last bit through no fault of their own. No-one got lost except for that girl from an air express company and we had trouble locating her as she had no tracking number or con note. I believe she was packaged correctly in a hash isoth shirt so she should have been pretty easy to find but…

Anyway back to my central thesis. 27 minus 4, minus another 4, minus 1 equals 18. Which calculates to a bunch of 18 girls (or boys exposed to phthalates) that couldn’t hack the pace. WE'RE TURNING INTO A BUNCH OF GIRLS! Now I also have a new concern. Do our new flash Hash shirts contain any phthalates? (Maybe that's why Kama didn't get a shirt). If they do then the few male hashers we have in this club may soon see their tackle shrivel up and we’ll all end up becoming the Harriets. You may laugh but lately I feel I have been developing breasts. Or maybe that’s the hormones in the chickens or the beer. I’m sorry but I have to do some work so I can’t continue on forever with this plenteous dribble.

The run was fantastic. Just so you know, all runs that I help set will be fantastic if I’m the one writing the blog. It was set for the big runners like Spec, Slow Lane and Quickie who unfortunately were unable to turn up. Halfarsed, Conchie and a couple of others had a go but it was a big ask. Cockup made one when he called an on back for two dots that was really one dot with a bicycle track through the middle. Barge lead the pack up the hill to the water tower which of course was an on back. We had a hash halt in the drain at the end of Sanctuary where the real men drank beer from glass bottles and the girls drank cold water from a phthalatic water cooler using phthalatic plastic cups. The walkers on homed to the surf club and we rode the last of the runners into the ground through the back streets of Sunset Park.

Back at the Surf Club, Arseabout, Maestro and Director had worked hard behind the scenes to compliment a great run with food and song. The circle was lead by Cockup who paid homage to our GM Kamakazie and to all who helped make Broome Hash the most successful Broome Hash in Broome. There were lots of down downs of which I can’t recall but when the November photos get put on the blog you’ll be able to see them. You know what they say “a pictures worth a thousand words”. I guess that means I could have just taken a photo of a poo and stuck it on the blog and save myself two hours of writing. It’s nearly finished. I’m guessing Arseabout and Maestro made the cool cocktails in which we partook. She also made these really cool cup cakes with 150 on them. I had two and put three bucks in the jar but no-one else seemed to bother. We had some yummy stuff from Zanders and some pizzas which I never got around to trying but they looked good. Muppet and I cleaned up the last of the wedges. As the night came to a close the usual stragglers and a couple of others sat around the bucket of wisdom and talked crap. It would have been really cool if we’d picked up the bucket, passed it around and drank from it until all the sangria was gone. I guess it was a plastic bucket and those phthalates took over again.


Anonymous said...

I just wasted 10 minutes of my life reading that!!

Anonymous said...

what a crock of phallus - see i can use words with "ph" as well - don't need to have a doctorate in useless information.

Are we going to get tested on this - it sounds like we should just to see if we are paying attention - except for the one who sped red in 10 mins !

the bucket of wisdom - i like that - were they filling it up with wisdom or withdrawing - glass half full stuff.

and for the record - muppets do not swallow cause they don't have a throat - just a big mouth !! go watch sesame street and you will see what i mean. so it was just the running tap (faucet) who scoffed the last food - that would be where the breasts are coming from!!

Anonymous said...

This comment somewhat interests me as there may a connection - muppets having no throats - faucet growing breasts! Maybe faucet also has no throat like muppet and what is consumed in the mouth has no place to go but the breasts. We may have to invest in new hash shirts that provide the right support in the upper region if faucet is going to continue his scoffing. I quite like the new shirts - pash even thinks we spelt SLOTH wrong. We are a creative bunch I must say.

AlphaBet (millsy) said...

Faucet you certainly know how to spout a gush of literary bollacks - but i love it!!!!!!!!!!! more entertaining than reading TV week (and last years edition in a doctor's surgery at that!)

and i think this "anonymous" blogger needs to sign their hash name unless it is their hash name