Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Run #149 The Trash

WELCOME to the Roebuck Bay Primary School Hash House Harriers. We are a fun loving group of total fucking losers who meet on Monday nights to run through Roebuck Primary School. We have such fun. We draw arrows which get rubbed out by the kids or sometimes washed away by the sprinklers which makes it even more exciting than you could ever imagine. So, if you’ve ever wanted to lurk around a primary school after dark then we’re the group for you.

Right, now that’s off my chest, the run was set by the three stooges or is that an old people joke. The run was set by Commando, Shrink and Pussy. Fortunately Commando came along or we would have been totally lost. Shrink n' Pussy stayed home and did the food. We quickly left Roebuck for the better class of trail in Sunset Park where money is no object and there were plenty of pretty pink P arrows to follow. They just kept heading to the Surf Club but when we arrived we found we were a week to early for the 150th run. Fortunately there was a nice APT truck there with booze. Slang mentioned something about it being the best thing she could ever ask for. That’s sad. But then she also shoved her torch in her mouth and pointed out if you do that and you have a cleft palate then the light shines out your nose, or something like that. Where did we find this girl? We did the Broome tour in the truck back to the Jigal house. Cockup took too long to drop the truck off so Faucet was called on to do the Religious duties for the evening. Fifteen women and only five guys, it was sort of like one of those dreams I used to have when I was younger or like those nightmares I have now. Sorry to jump from first to third person when I write but Faucet doesn’t care. Three hares down down,, two cane toad visitors and one virgin. The Visitors said their names were Jackoff and Wombat (no where near as pretty as our Wombat) but it sounds sus to me. They started in Cairns Hash then moved to Darwin Hash and now there checking out Broome Hash. Mmmm. Dodgey. We also had two namings. Faucet got lucky, having two girls kneel down in front of him. As predicted, Fish Fingers is now officially called Fish Fingers and the girl with more studs than Bart Cummings ended up being called Tackle Box. At least if she gets lost on a run we’ll be able to find her with a metal detector. We had a nice song selection for the evening although the farewell song for Commando had that real naughty word in it. If my mother finds out I said it I’ll get my mouth washed out with soap again. Food. Yes, Food. It was great. They might set a crap run but they make a mean curry with all the trimmings. For $5 it was a better bargain than you’d get in Bombay which is now called Mumbai of course and is the capital of the Indian state of Maharashtra. I’m trying to educate you stupid people who have actually read this far down the blog. Haven’t you got work to do? Goodbye and don’t forget that next weeks 150th run is at the Surf Club which is located no where near Roebuck Fucking Primary School.

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