On the eve of the night of the race that stops a nation we had our own race. We had 16 starters, no barrier draw, two starters horns, Spec was the favourite of course. Muppet was a late scratching but turned up for the feed. Even Maestro turned out for the big event. Red, a no show as was Commando. None of this wossy 3200 metres for us Hashers. Porno and Gwnn had set a much longer, draining course through lesser known parts of Roebuck. The track was dry and sandy. The moon full. The run was good for a Virgin effort as we lost no-one and got a good work out. Do Roebuckians have some law that says Hash Runs must always pass through Roebuck Primary? It’s fucking childish. Stop it!
Pash was the hash flash for the night so don’t blame me for all the arse shots. I just wanted that put on the record in case some-one thinks I’m some sort of weirdo. I nearly forgot. Porno and Gwnn put on a hash halt at the park. Gwnn said she was a bit worried about turning up there before we arrived as there was some sort of Shire worker hanging around. If she had explained to him that she was just waiting for Porno and his followers to arrive and that she had something cool for them to suck on then I am sure he would have understood. I must say it was a pleasant recharge.
The circle was small and cosy, Slow Lane back as the RA. Porno had new shoes and so somehow got to have a combined shoe and hare down down. The first attempt at filling his shoe failed as it poured straight out through the bottom. I was beginning to wonder what Matso’s were putting in the ginger beer but soon realised that he taken out the shoe liner. The instructions probably said that you must leave the liner in when you are drinking from the shoe but Porno obviously hadn’t read them properly!
There were only a few down downs and much to the disappointment of Arseabout no one needed to be enforced. Slang brought a new song to the group. Well she obviously stole it from somewhere but it was simple, stupid, totally irrelevant, had naughty words and easy to remember, so I’ll go out on a limb here and say it will become a popular song for Broome Hash circles from now on. "Meat pies, peas and gravy, you are fucking crazy, la la la bump, la la la bump. Meat pies, peas and lentil, you are fucking mental, la la la bump, la la la bump." Sounds better with alcohol. Hey, while I’m out on a limb I think if you don’t have a Hash name and you start talking about fish fingers and then go on and on and on about them, while people around you are pissing themselves laughing so much those little knobby bits on the back of their heads behind their ears hurt, then, you’re probably be getting a Hash name next week.
Changing the subject to food. There was enough Mexican to feed a rural village in Chiapas. (the southern most state of Mexico) I think the chilli’s might have killed a few people though. You people that ate them. What do your internal organs think of you? Do you eat then so you can have runs during the week? The rest of the food was great though. Shrink bought heaps of beer. Remember next week, Chiapas is the southern most state of Mexico.