Friday, October 30, 2009

COMMANDO GO AWAY

Make sure long time hasher and tumbler, Commando leaves;

ERICA'S FLURO 30TH/ FAREWELL PARTY

WHEN Saturday 7/11/2009 Six pm - Late

WHERE Mercure Hotel, C View

Room, formerly the Lugger

Bar, located out

the front of the Conti

WHAT TO

BRING ; A fluro outfit and or

accessories

RSVP: Friday 30/10/2009

Erica 0408 036 111

Food and Beverage Provided

PLEASE NO PRESENTS

Thursday, October 29, 2009

RUN #148 02NOV

HARE'S-PORNO & GIRL WNN

2ND NOVEMBER 1730 FOR 1800HRS

17 SUGAR GLIDER AVE, ROEY EST.

TORCHES!

$5 RUN $5 FOOD

ON ON BARGE

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Run #147 The Trash


To err is to be human, to aarrrghh is to be pirate but I’m not sure what to say about “Pirate Director”. I could start with his name Pirate Director. It just doesn’t cut it. Peter Pan had Captain Hook. That sounds cool. Maybe Captain Director. Nuh. That doesn’t work either. Well at least he looked the part, and he was definitely able to rustle up a motley crew for a Halloween Run around Cable beach and Minyirr Park. Looking like a weather beaten Jonny Depp, Director read out the rules for the run. “This arrow means this and the one with the A doesn’t mean that and the squiggly face thingy……”. He had a list as long as your arm, in fact that reminds me, he only had one arm. The last crew probably chopped it off because his last list was so FUCKING long. Unfortunately I don’t have a photo to compliment the text. The first people to get lost were understandably the two clowns. The guy in the clown suit and Barge. Is it sad to laugh at your own jokes? Do you know why cannibals don’t eat clowns? They leave a funny taste in your mouth. Anyway the fact we were lost at the start was handy for the Shelia dressed up as a bride who even turned up later than me. She looked the part running down the street chased by a bunch of deviates (that’s the weird type not the intransitive verb). That’s an intellectual joke. I’m trying hard to appeal to everyone. I’m not drunk, I have all this crap running around in my head, but it is nearly time for a beer. Sorry, back to the run. I had to laugh when the cops stumbled across us near Janaburru. They slowed down near some random guy drinking a beer who wasn’t even with us and then we all started coming up out of the drain and they thought better of it and drove off. In a flash we were gone too and running through the bush……OOOOOOhhhhhh. Director and his assistants had worked hard to make the dark trails even scarier. Webs and weirdos with jack-o-lanterns, signs and hanging ghosts. Arseabout was looking a bit horny as she posed for the camera. Faucet was having fun scaring the stragglers. Sometimes he even put his white mask on. Now its confession time. About ten of us stragglers missed the turn off to the Graveyard and took the somewhat safer high road. Maybe we missed the balloons! Sad really, as I heard it was great. We were warned not to short cut, it was instruction number 39 at the start of the run. None the less we saw some of the tombstones scattered around Directors backyard later on and even though the famous Kamakazie wasn’t able to make the run he was there in spirit.

The circle was led by Cockup who broke in his new shoe with a down down, it was sort of like he couldn’t wait to do it. A bit weird really. But then he wasn’t alone on that night. We had a couple of weirdos from Perth and a couple of local weirdos who thought their own faces were a good enough costume for a Halloween Bash. Red and Barge (who likes short walks on Cable Beach). You still don’t get it do you? We also said goodbye to Stealth. Good riddance, Splitter. Cockup also led the masses into the perfectly choreographed version of the classic “swing low” followed up by some childish thing about knees together, legs together. I guess with some work and improvements like knees apart, legs apart, it could have more potential. While Director had also put a lot of effort into his backyard, Mrs Director, (I guess) had been slaving away in the Galley. A fine spread she put on to. A bowl of veins which I’m guessing was really red spaghetti. I checked with her later and she explained she actually cut herself with a knife when she was putting the spaghetti into the dish. But it looked so good she left it. Don’t gag, I was only joking, I do that. I think. It was good to see Muppet back on her feet but not sure what she and Pink Bits were doing to the pelvic region on the skeleton hanging on the clothes line. After the feed most people disappeared, I’m guessing they went home. Or did they....? I should point out here that if anybody needs a note to stay late and drink an extra beer just see me, Cockup or Muppet or any of the usual stragglers. We can’t always stay on and empty the esky by ourselves. You also miss out on some funny bits like the sprinklers that came on when Muppet was putting the gear in her car. Great night Director. Unfortunately you’ve now put the pressure on Mr and Mrs Porno to perform next week. Looking forward to it.



Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Run #147 26OCT (All Hallow's Eve on the Gregorian Calendar )


Run #146 The Trash

Muppet you BITCH. I was supposed to be the glamour girl for the night. I wore my best pink hair and was doing well then you come along and bang, hit the ground and suddenly you’re Miss Popular. Everyone wants to know how you are? All the boys want to carry YOU through Minyirr park. Then when down down time come along, Miss Went Down Down was nowhere to be seen. Some concerned hasher suggested we could all run up to the hospital and put your down down into an I.V. Well stuff you. You even stole the first part of my blog. That’s it. No more about you.

Well, what a run. Wombat, her hung over housemate and Red pulled a good crowd for a pink themed run around BP Reid Road Views Estate, Old Januburu and the Minyirr Dunes. Long on backs, the Red influence I’m guessing. On one of the first ones it ended up just me and Quickie standing on the corner of BP Reid Road. I was cleverly disguised with pink hair and a trumpet but Quickie was easily distinguishable to passing traffic so we decided even if it was on, we weren’t going it alone so we headed west and looked for safety in numbers. It wasn’t hard to find everyone as they were all just wandering around like a bunch of pink sheep, except for Barge who looked like an orange. Once we finally worked out the hi-tec pink blue ribbon system we got running again. Over the road and up the big dune and surprise surprise an on back. Somewhere deep in the bush some of the hashers learned that we have a couple of ambo’s, a doctor and a few other hospital people when we go on each run. It’s great how hash hides your true identity. After we disposed of Princess Muppet we all sort of headed towards home and ended up at a hash halt that had no booze. Apparently the hash halt booze delivery vehicle was at the hospital, so we just headed back from whence we came. The circle was still big despite a couple of people being tied up. A.Tool was thrown in as the Religious advisor for the evening and one of his first down down recipients looked like she might have needed to join Muppet for the night. The down downs were pretty cold and Wombat had that look on her face that said the down down was ready to come back as an up up. At least it would have been a bit warmer. We had a threesome of virgins who opted for a half down down and a cold beer shower. Our returnee Slang came bearing gifts from distant lands. A quirky little leprechaun bottle opener. An official presentation was made and celebrated by all. The Sibisado girls put on a fine spread considering they probably did it by torch light as they weren’t sure how to turn the lights on, or was it just the one in the carport. You have to wonder if they thought the light operated by a motion sensor and how long they spent jumping around in front of it trying to turn it on. I know you’re smiling because you did didn’t you. And last but not least, little Lessy took in all the proceedings as she sucked on a beer, pondering , no doubt, what life was all about. It brought on a smile. And yes one more thing, there’s always some idiot who wants their photo on the blog. And this picture reminds me, don’t forget to come next week because it’s Directors Halloween night. Better bring some clean undies if you get a bit scared as you never know you might end up having to go to hospital. (some advice my mother passed on to me)





Monday, October 19, 2009

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If you aren't shopping at the Kimberley Bookshop then you must be going to the....

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Run #145 The Trash



The crowds just keep getting bigger or maybe it was the lure of a Quickie run that had the numbers up. It was a good run through some of the lesser known drains of Roebuck Estate. It did have one new innovative element, a run through the middle of Shrink’s new house, which won’t be ready by Xmas but like all Roebuck runs it ended up going through the Primary school where the kids rub out the marks. The sprinklers in some of the parks also took out some of the arrows but fortunately Quickie as her name suggests was able to keep up with the leaders and head them in the rightish direction where needed. Don’t think she lost anyone either. Specs got a stitch or in his case that may be a suture. Although it was a quick run we all worked up a good sweat. The wet season is coming, bring it on. Talking of sweating, wet Tee shirts and semi naked bodies, a couple of the young boys, Specs and a guy with no name, couldn’t wait to flash their bods at the circle. The sight of semi naked men caused Slow Lane to burst into song with his own rendition of the Joe Cocker classic “you can leave you shirt on”. I’ve got photos of you sleezy women hashers drooling as the topless boys dribbled their down downs down their unpotbellied fronts. Would my English teacher have questioned the grammar in that sentence? Getting back to Porno, we will now have Porno every week at Hash; that’s as long as he turns up. Porno wasn’t named alone, as seen in the picture we now also have Stealth. Mmmm, interesting name, fortunately those who were there on the night know it was because she was dobbed in for sneaking a guy in and out of her room without anyone noticing (except maybe the guy?) which leads one to wonder how SPF Pink Bits got her Hash name? Not sure why Stealth appears to be staring at Slow Lane’s crutch in all the photos? Maybe she was there the night Rubber was christened and thought that that was what you were supposed to do at a christening. Commando. 80 Runs. That’s every Monday night for 80 weeks or every second Monday night for 160 weeks or every third Monday night for 240 weeks or ….. opps sorry , Slow Lane already mentioned that. Anyway, that s a lot of runs so what’s your excuse for the pussy sore on your leg. Did you fall over? Not many runs left now til your fluoro farewell party. Speaking of horns, which I wasn’t but am now, Director hit EBay and ended up with a great horn for $40. It sounded good and got passed around the circle but it is still in the plastic bag which I find a bit funny, especially seeing the bit you put in your mouth wasn’t covered in plastic. Sort of the reverse of a condom but then I won’t go there. I will go to Muppet who’s gone to Bali for a root. Well maybe that’s not why she went but if she’s going to take on me then she’s not coming out unscathed. (you need to read previous blogs if this doesn’t make sense). Last but not least, the appraisal of the cuisine. Chicken kebabs with a nice salad and plenty for all. I won’t mention the beer. Shrink.
And don't forget, next week, wear something pink. On the outside.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

RUN #146 MON 19OCT

This week's run Hared by Wombat and Red (in a supporting role).

Commencing at 5 Sibasado at the customary time (just after 6.00pm-ish for most). There will be food of sorts (though not chips) and a sufficiency of drink.

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Guest RA is AT.

On ON.

HARE'S:WOMBAT & RED

THEME:PINK WHY? CAUSE IT'S LESSY'S (CONCHIE & ALPHA'S BABY)1ST BIRTHDAY! ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY FOR RED TO DRESS UP CAUSE HE LOVES IT SOOO MUCH-HA HA!
WHERE YOU MIGHT ASK?-5 SIBOSADO(NEAR BP REID RD)CABLE BCH. THEREFORE NO EXCUSE FOR SNOB TO NOT ATTEND
FOOD IS HAPPENING AND TORCHES WILL BE REQUIRED CAUSE IT'S DARK OUT THERE!!
ON ON

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Run #144 The Trash



What a pleasure it was to be part of such an amazing run. The Ash and Pash hash bash drew a crowd of 23 honed athletes to run from Broome’s famous town beach. One hasher even came all the way from Victoria to participate. The spectator crowd was the largest we have ever had at a hash night, perhaps 2500 people. There were food vans, entertainment, fire twirlers and live music. One down side was that the parking was a bit of a problem. The piece de rĂ©sistance of the night of course was how the girls had organised the full moon rise at the end of the run. It was so dreamy. The run, well, that was shit. It started off well with everyone leaving from the same spot but then deteriorated from there. Although I enjoyed the run I had no idea where I was going. The girls had used coloured chalk, which must have looked pretty when they set the run. And the arrows, wow, some even pointed in two directions at once. How innovative. As we all went in different directions I can only write about the version of the run I went on. The first bit was down a smelly drain to the beach below the old jetty where a huge crowd had gathered to see us off. I sort of felt like I was a competitor in the night Olympics, It gives me goose bumps as I think about it. Actually that was the best bit. Then sort of lots of circle thingies and I sort of headed in the general direction of my house because I new there was a pretty blue check on the corner there. I stuck in sight of the girls so I didn’t get too lost but by the time we’d reached the Courthouse there were only 4 runners and the hares left. (Sorry Muppet for calling you a loser when you temporarily lost just 13 runners). Red and I decided to halve the pack and hid in the bushes near my house. No one even noticed, they just ran on oblivious to our absence. Thanks Slow Lane and Quickie! As we emerged from our hiding place my daughter and her friends were walking past. Her friends thought it was a bit weird, my daughter thought. Hi Dad. Red and I then carried out a bit of community service by returning a misplaced wheelchair that we found on the street, back to the hospital. One of us sat in the chair but due to patient confidentiality I can’t say who that was. The patients waiting in the ED thought we were a bit odd, maybe it was the trumpet. The face of nurse behind the desk said a lot but her range of emotion didn’t seem to extend to “thanks for returning our fugitive wheelchair”. We eventually made it back to town beach but obviously missed the waiting crowds as they seem pre occupied with something over to the east. The circle eventually formed and as Slow Lane was mentioning the lowness of the median age of hashers, Happy and her friend turned up to even it out again. Without a few oldies like Cockup and Kama and Wombat's mum who sneaked of due to detox it leaves people like me and Muppet as the regular oldies. The down downs were a tasty mix of Matso’s ginger beer and some of Shrinks flash beer. Wombat and the new girl with no name drank theirs out of their new shoes and Director drank his out of his whistle trumpet thing. He also did a weird dance. Maybe it was the full moon. Actually I think it was his idea to have it at staircase mmm! He’s organising the Halloween hash too, this is all getting a little scary. And finishing up with more scary, here’s is a nice picture of the shit run girls Ash and Pash. Is that fire coming out of Pash's head? Great first time effort guys.

Friday, October 9, 2009

RUN #145 MON 12OCT


HARE-QUIKIE

WHERE-7(6)! LORIKEET, ROEBUCK EST

WHEN DO YOU THINK!

MONDAY 12TH OF COURSE USUAL 530-6PM OFF
YES FOOD, DRINKS & ALL THAT STUFF
PLEASE BRING A TORCH UNLESS YOU HAVE INFRARED NIGHT VISION LIKE RED!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Friday, October 2, 2009

Run #143 The Trash



I’m not sure if the Queen knew we celebrated her birthday with a run in Sunset Park. She didn’t send us a thankyou telegram but I guess she will once she’s read the Blog. No doubt she’d be suitably impressed. A party of twenty plus loyal subjects again headed out on the run but this time with a bit of a difference. The hares were Booberator and DJ from Perth who set the run using those fancy city slicker marks. The first FT we came to caused some confusion but we eventually worked it out and those checks with the pointy arrows. Sort of appropriately Tiaraish.
A few of us put in the effort and dressed up in our best Queen gear. Pash and Ash ran in silky garb, a few Tiaras, a pearl necklace and a white glove. A bit sad really, not sure what the residents of all the courts in Sunset Park thought as we seemed to run down them all. The guy with the hose was happy to cool us down. Faucet ran with his horn, which as promised last week, was a long one. Back at Boobs we had the circle on the deck by the moat. Ash unfortunately was to fall in it later as she crossed the bridge. I think it was due to hesitation. Slow Lane was the RA again and looked sweet in his borrowed tiara. Not too many down downs. The one I had was bloody cold. The circle dragged on a bit with discussions about the next run which coincides with the staircase to the moon or vice versa. I liked the suggestion we run out onto the mud and put on our own “staircase to the moons” show. Westpac let everyone know that she was looking for someone to look after the Hash purse while she heads off on her holiday soon. Commando’s having a fluoro 30 bye bye party, Director added a few suggestions and free adverts. I tried feigning a dehydration collapse as the circle dragged on but when it appeared the only beer I was going to get was an external one I jumped back up again. I was waiting for the discourse to move on to the Republican debate when, suddenly it was all over. We all crossed the moat and it was a feast for all. Always a feed fit for a King when Booberator is involved. Muppet tried to push a few Tee shirts, which she did. The conversation somehow got onto oil and gas and I managed to sneak away. Staircase next week, should be good.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Run #144 October 5th

HARE'S :- PASH & ASH

STAIR CASE TO THE MOON NIGHT

LEAVING FROM TOWN BEACH CAR PARK
ON MONDAY 530 FOR 6PM START

FOOD TO BE PURCHASED BY HASHERS FROM TOWN BEACH MARKETS AS DESIRED

ON ON
BARGE